some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and imporve such situations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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It is often argued that
It
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it
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is better to accept the
unsatisfactionary
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unsatisfactory
circumstances in the other
hand
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hand,
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some people think that there's always a way to get things to a better place. I always
belive
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believe
we can always improve our situations. Every cloud has a silver lining. Even the worst situations can get us to
better
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a better
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place. Like they always
said
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said,
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we always learn from our mistakes. Every difficult situation is a step. I
belive
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believe
that because I see the tough situation makes us stronger. After our
mistakes
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mistakes,
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we know what is going on.
For
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example
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example,
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my mom
she
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apply
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grew up in
asmall
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a small
village. She
did'
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wasn't
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t
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born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Her dad
did'
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didn't
t
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let her
to
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apply
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go
high
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to high
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school.
Best
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The best
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she
can
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could
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do was being a farmer
she
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, she
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always wanted to be a teacher. She never gave up. She secretly
sudied
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studied
for
university
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the university
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exam
and
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, and
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she got the highest score. She went to college
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. At
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at the end
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of the
day
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day,
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she made it. She is a
succesful
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successful
literature
teacer
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teacher
now. We can see it in famous
caracters
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characters
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life
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.
Linking Words
for
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For
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example
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example,
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Justin Bieber
he
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apply
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had a really harsh times people hated him for a really long time
and
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, and
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the media
was keep
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kept
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judging him. Now he is in a good
place
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place,
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he got better
oppurtunities
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opportunities
. He turned his weakness into his
strenght
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strength
.
Moral
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The moral
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of the story is there's always a way
our
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out
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, we
soudn'
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shouldn't
t
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be pessimistic. We
should'
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shouldn't
t
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accept the things
makes
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that make
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us unhappy. There's always a hope.
Life
Use synonyms
is too short to accept your destiny. We are our own destiny.
Acceping
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Accepting
our destiny can bring us depression.
Life
Use synonyms
keep give us oppurtunities we should be ready to take them. Like
famous
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the famous
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series character Carrie said: ''Computers crash
Use synonyms
life
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, life
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fall
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falls
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apart
The
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. The
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best we can do is breathe and reboot.''

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task response
Answer both sides of the topic. Now you mostly talk about trying to make life better, but you do not explain well why some people accept a bad situation.
task response
Add one full body part for the first view and one full body part for the second view. This will make your answer more complete.
task response
Make your opinion clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple topic lines at the start of each part. This helps the reader follow your plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a clear way. Some lines jump too fast from one idea to another.
coherence and cohesion
Check the end of some lines. A few parts are hard to understand, so the main point is not always easy to follow.
task response
You give a clear personal view in the essay.
task response
You use examples to support your main idea, and this is good.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear ending paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are about the topic, so the essay stays on track.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accept a bad situation
  • unsatisfactory job
  • shortage of money
  • peace of mind
  • reduce stress
  • stable pay
  • support a family
  • take risks
  • live simply
  • wait for a better time
  • improve the situation
  • look for a new job
  • learn new skills
  • take action
  • gain confidence
  • small steps
  • create change
  • over time
  • careful plan
  • long-term improvement
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