IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Recently you joined a sport and you should tell your friend that it might also goof for he/she to join this sport. In your letter say. where did you heard about it when and where you started. why your friend might like this.

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Hi Sam Hope you'
re
Use synonyms
 doing great! I think
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you
with a
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high
spirit
Check wording
spirits
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 and good health. I'm extremely excited to share with you that I've recently joined a famous football
team
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our city.What's more, I got to know about the
requirement
Check wording
requirements
show examples
 of
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
team
Use synonyms
 member from one of my classmates, as he is
also
Linking Words
 playing in
this
Linking Words
team
Use synonyms
. On
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
top of that, during our lunch
break
Add a comma
break,
show examples
 we were sitting in our classroom
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I shared my interest in football with my friend. That's not all, I
also
Linking Words
 told him that I always desire to play for our city, so he referred my name to his coach for my selection in the
team
Use synonyms
. Most interestingly, I
selected
Verb problem
was selected
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
team
Use synonyms
 after giving my first trial ,as you know
I
Punctuation problem
, I
show examples
have
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 command
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 game and I've been playing for
this
Linking Words
team
Use synonyms
 for
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 six months.
Not to mention
Linking Words
, Sam, I know you'
re
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 playing well
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 you
also
Linking Words
 want to be a successful football player. I'm quite familiar that
due to
Linking Words
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
emergency
Add a comma
emergency,
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 you'
re
Use synonyms
 unable to get proper training , but still you'
re
Use synonyms
 an excellent player. I really want you to join my
team
Use synonyms
 and polish your
skill
Check wording
skills
show examples
 in order to get successful player in future. Yes,
you'wll
Correct your spelling
you'll
 definitely like my
purposal
Correct your spelling
proposal
 as it will be helpful for
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 career development . Let's meet and have a sip of coffee together! Lots of love, Bob

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but some points are not fully clear. Say more clearly where you heard about the sport, and when and where you started.
task response
Task response: Your tone is friendly, which is good for a letter to a friend. But some lines sound too formal. Use more natural friend language.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. But some ideas repeat, and some sentences are too long. Make them shorter.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will make the letter easier to follow.
task response
Task response: You cover the main points in the question and explain why your friend may like the sport.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use a greeting and a friendly closing, which fits a letter to a friend.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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