In many parts of the world, women study science and technology, but do not work in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage women to work in science and technology.

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Most

Change preposition

apply

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women in several

country

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countries

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around the world are majoring in science and technology

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;

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however

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however,

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not many of them

work

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in these

area

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areas

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. I think

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apply

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it is because they do not have

Correct article usage

as many

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adequate

job

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opportunity as much

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opportunities

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man

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men

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this

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these

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fields

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. But,

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this

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these

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issues can be tackled by the

goverment

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government

taking roles to make

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apply

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better

job

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opportunities

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, not only for

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man

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men

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but

also

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woman

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, and

companies

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to give

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apply

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equal pay for everyone. The main reason

from

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for

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this

Linking Words

issue is

there

Correct word choice

that there

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Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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not many

job

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opportunities

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for

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woman

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women

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in STEM

Punctuation problem

;

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most of the

companies

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still have a

steoryotipe

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stereotype

that only

man

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who can do

this

Linking Words

type of

job

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, especially

something

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technical

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fields.

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Because they think that

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woman is

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women are

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not capable

to do

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of doing

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this

Linking Words

, not better than

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man

Check wording

men

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. I think the most effective way to deal with

this

Linking Words

problem is to push the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

and demand them to make more

job

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opportunies

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opportunities

for

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woman

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women

show examples

. By making

this

Linking Words

regulation,

will

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it will

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make

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woman

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women

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and

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man

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men

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have the same rights to

work

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in these

fields

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, it will encourage

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woman

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women

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to be more active and confident to

work

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Linking Words

this

Fix the agreement mistake

these

show examples

fields

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In addition

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companies

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should give

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

equal pay no matter what gender they are, and try to be more objective when they

started

Wrong verb form

start

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the recruitment. I believe that many

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woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

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in these

fields

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have the same level of skills with

man

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therefore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

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truly

deserved

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deserve

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the same recognition that

man

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had.

Companies

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must be more

toughtfull

Correct your spelling

thoughtful

working

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show examples

this

Linking Words

issue. In conclusion, since there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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not many

job

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opportunities

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for

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woman

Check wording

women

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in STEM, lead them to choose to

work

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different

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a different

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path of career

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career path

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This

Linking Words

issue can be tackled by

push

Wrong verb form

pushing

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the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

to build more

job

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opportunities

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and

force

Wrong verb form

forcing

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the

companies

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to give

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

equal pay

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show examples

both for

woman

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and

Use synonyms

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

Hany

May 12, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts more fully. You explain why women do not work in these fields, but you should give more than one strong step to help them work there.

task response

Add one or two clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.

task response

Make each main idea more clear. Some points are good, but they need more detail about how the plan will help women.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words more carefully. Some parts connect well, but some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar and word choice.

coherence and cohesion

Put one main idea in each paragraph and explain it fully before moving to the next point.

task response

You answer the topic and give two main ways to solve the problem: help from the government and fair pay from companies.

task response

Your opinion is clear from the start and stays clear through the essay.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use some linking words like 'however', 'in addition', and 'in conclusion' to show the order of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

equal pay
fair hiring
career growth
flexible hours
work-life balance
paid leave
child care support
role model
mentor
build confidence
safe workplace
gender bias
harassment
practical training
internship
return-to-work program
job opportunity
support system
science field
technology sector

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In many parts of the world, women study science and technology, but do not work in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage women to work in science and technology.

Air transport is increasingly used to transport fruit and vegetables to other countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people believe that universities shold only accept students with the highest marks while others believe that some students with low marks should have an opportunity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.