Today many children suffer from obesity. This is a very serious health issue. Describe the reasons for this and offer solutions to help fix this problem.
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The world has changed
and
that includes the eating habits of many young Punctuation problem
, and
children
. Today, many Use synonyms
children
suffer from obesity. Use synonyms
This
is a serious Linking Words
health
issue. Use synonyms
This
essay will examine the reasons why Linking Words
children
are overweight and the different solutions that can help change Use synonyms
this
.
Today, too many Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
that
suffer from Correct pronoun usage
apply
Use synonyms
overwight
. There are many reasons why Correct your spelling
being overweight
Use synonyms
childern
suffer from obesity. Correct your spelling
children
Frist
, fast Correct your spelling
First
food
is the most Use synonyms
popolar
reason for Correct your spelling
popular
Use synonyms
overwight
. Correct your spelling
being overweight
many
Correct your spelling
Many children
childern
eat fast Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
reagulary
. Correct your spelling
regularly
For
Linking Words
example
, Use synonyms
They
can use the phone and order fast Fix capitalization
they
food
like Use synonyms
burger
and Check wording
burgers
pizze
from any Correct your spelling
pizza
websites
. Fix the agreement mistake
website
Second,
Linking Words
healthy
issues are considered a big reason for obesity. Replace the word
health
For
Linking Words
example
,Use synonyms
children
today suffer from Use synonyms
blood
pressure and diabetes Correct word choice
high blood
which
can cause Punctuation problem
, which
Use synonyms
overwight somtimes
. Correct your spelling
being overweight sometimes
Also
, many Linking Words
children
lack exercise. Use synonyms
Nowdays
,Correct your spelling
Nowadays
children
always sit in front of the Use synonyms
tv
and Fix capitalization
TV
do
no movement.That can Verb problem
make
effect on
their Use the right word
affect
health
. Use synonyms
Finally
, Linking Words
children
should eat healthy Use synonyms
food
and Use synonyms
aviod
fast Correct your spelling
avoid
food
and chocolate,cake,Use synonyms
suger
drinks for better Correct your spelling
sugar
health
.
There are many Use synonyms
solution
to fix Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
this
problem.First,Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
food
help Use synonyms
childern
avoid Use synonyms
overwight
. Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
, Use synonyms
Use synonyms
childern
should eat Correct your spelling
children
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
food
,Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
such as
firuts
and Correct your spelling
fruits
vagtable
. It can help them to be in Correct your spelling
vegetables
a
good Correct article usage
apply
health
.Use synonyms
Second,
Linking Words
haelthy
care is the most Correct your spelling
healthy
importent
part. Correct your spelling
important
Parents
should take Use synonyms
of
their Check wording
care of
children
if they have any Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
issus
.Correct your spelling
issues
For
Linking Words
example
,if the child has any issus as, Use synonyms
Change preposition
such as diabetes
diabetes
they must Punctuation problem
diabetes,
do
not allowd for them eat Verb problem
apply
suger
.Correct your spelling
sugar
Also
, Linking Words
nowdays
Correct your spelling
nowadays children
childern
do not do any exercise, and we have Use synonyms
make
them do more exercise. Verb problem
to make
For
Linking Words
example
, they can walk arond 30 Use synonyms
min in
a day Correct your spelling
minutes
or
they can do any workout Punctuation problem
, or
help
their Verb problem
to help
health
. Use synonyms
Finally
,Linking Words
Use synonyms
Parents nowdays neglect their
Correct word order
parents nowadays neglect their children's
children
Use synonyms
health
and that Use synonyms
not
a good Verb problem
is not
things
for them.Fix the agreement mistake
thing
government
should Correct article usage
The government
implument
hard Correct your spelling
implement
rouls
for Correct your spelling
rules
parents
Use synonyms
do
not care Correct pronoun usage
who do
of
their Change preposition
about
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children's
health
.Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
, Use synonyms
government
can make Correct article usage
the government
parents
pay money if they Use synonyms
did
not Wrong verb form
do
care
of their Verb problem
take care
childern
Use synonyms
health
.
In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are several reasons responsible for creating a generation of overweight Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
However
, the good news is that there are many solutions that can easily change Linking Words
this
problem.Linking Words
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task response
Answer both parts in a more direct way. You talk about reasons and solutions, but some ideas are not fully clear.
task response
Use main ideas that fit the topic well. Some points, like children having high blood pressure as a reason, are not well explained.
task response
Give clearer support for each main point. Add one simple and clear example for each reason and each solution.
coherence cohesion
Put one main idea in each part of the body paragraph. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a careful way. Words like first, second, also, and finally are good, but some sentences still feel hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your ideas connect better from one sentence to the next.
task response
You answer the full topic by writing about both reasons and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas, which is good for this task.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite