IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to your friend who lives in another country and in your letter: a) Invite him/her to a public event in your country b) Describe the public event c) Explain what other plans you have for your friend when he/she will visit

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Hi Bob, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in good health and high spirits. I'm extremely excited to share with you that a live concert of our favourite singer, Daljeet Dosanjh, is going to be held in Canada particulary in my current city, Banff. What's more, I'm aware
that
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of
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 how crazy you were to attend his live concert ,as you have been his die -hart fansince our school days. On top of that,
this
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 event will be held in July, as we both will be on our summer break. In fact, you'
ll
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 easily get days off from your work too if you give them prior notice for vacations. Interestingly,
this
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 event will be organised by the city in a big historical park , so I am pretty sure that we'
ll
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 shake our legs
on
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to
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 our favourite songs. As one of my friends is in the
orrganising
Correct your spelling
organising
 team ,
so
Correct word choice
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we can
also
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 get an opportunity to meet our favourite singer. That's
not to mention
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, I've planned lots of
thing
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things
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 in my head after your visit
in
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to
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 Canada. You know what
?
Punctuation problem
apply
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Banff is like heaven on earth. It has numerous breathtaking views and definitely your jaw drops
out
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to see
such
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 fascinating
sceneries
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scenery
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. I'
ll
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 book an Airbnb on our arrival so that we can spend quality time together. I hope you'
ll
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 never deny my proposal. Can't wait to hug you!
lots
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Lots
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 of love, Amanda

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add a bit more about the event, like time, place, and what people can do there.
task response
Task response: Your tone is warm and friendly. Keep it clear and natural, and avoid some long or unclear lines.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Try to link ideas in a simpler way.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will make the letter easier to read.
task response
Task response: You invite your friend clearly and give good reasons to come.
task response
Task response: You share extra plans for the visit, which makes the letter feel real and friendly.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The greeting and ending fit a letter to a friend very well.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The order of ideas is easy to follow most of the time.
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