IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Access to clean water is a basic human rights. Therefore every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. agree or disagree

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Nowadays, it is often said that access to clean
water
Use synonyms
 is
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 human
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is why everyone should have a
water
Use synonyms
 supply
that is
Linking Words
 provided freely. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain why I am convinced it is a wrong assumption for the following reasons
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 some examples. First of all, we
cannnot
Correct your spelling
cannot
 deny the fact that getting enough clean
water
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important rights in
humans'
Check wording
human
show examples
 life.
However
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, it is quite natural that even if individuals are independent, they should work hard for money and obtain their
necesities
Correct your spelling
necessities
.
Moreover
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, it is unclear
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
who
supplys
Correct your spelling
supplies
water
Use synonyms
 for them.
For example
Linking Words
, if
govenments fullfill thier
Correct your spelling
governments fulfil their
 needs, raising the amount of tax is easily expected. If some companies do that, any profit is unexpected.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is
real
Correct word choice
true
show examples
 that there are
people
Use synonyms
 who
cannnot
Correct your spelling
cannot
 have enough money to live. It is very understandable that local
insutitutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 help them.
Also
Linking Words
, there is another concern that the amount of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption really depends on persons. From
this
Linking Words
 notion, it is difficult to decide how much they should be supplied.
In addition
Linking Words
, as long as
citizins
Correct your spelling
citizens
 can drink clean
water
Use synonyms
 without any effort,
people
Use synonyms
 will
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
value
water
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who waste
Use synonyms
water too much
Correct word order
too much water
show examples
 will increase
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there are kids who are not able to study enough because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, some students always go to
rivers
Correct article usage
the rivers
show examples
 to get
water
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of schools.
To sum up
Linking Words
, indeed,
although
Linking Words
 there are a number of
pro
Fix the agreement mistake
pros
show examples
 and cons, I personally disagree with
this
Linking Words
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 need to have their
necesities
Correct your spelling
necessities
 on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption is
unexpectble
Correct your spelling
unexpected
. 一般に、必要なものは自分でお金を稼いで手に入れるべきである。 誰がそのお金を払うの？稼ぎがない人はどうするの？ 人によって使用量が異なる。 どうやって決めるの？ 大事にしない人が増える。 教育受ける機会が増える

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task response
State your main view in a more direct way in the first paragraph.
task response
Explain each main point more fully so the reader can see why you think this way.
task response
Use one clear example for each main point and link it to your idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words like first, also, for example, and as a result in a more careful way.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
You include more than one reason for your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic human right
  • clean water
  • water supply
  • free of charge
  • public health
  • poor families
  • basic needs
  • safe drinking water
  • financial burden
  • water waste
  • limited resource
  • government support
  • health problems
  • living standard
  • fair access
  • public service
  • daily life
  • water system
  • pay for extra use
  • protect natural resources
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