IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented apartment rather than buying a home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in rented accommodation?

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Along with
Linking Words
 the inflation, prices of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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houses and the cost of building a
house
Use synonyms
 are
getting increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
, cause of
this
Linking Words
 issue, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people prefer to rent apartments rather than
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 a
house
Use synonyms
. So,
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain with reasons why
i'm
Fix capitalization
I'm
show examples
 disagreeing with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Initially
Linking Words
,
i'm
Fix capitalization
I'm
show examples
 going to elaborate
advantages
Change preposition
on the advantages
show examples
 of buying a
house
Use synonyms
 rather than renting
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 Today, in most developed countries
housing
Punctuation problem
, housing
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 rents are showing higher prices
proportianally
Correct your spelling
proportionally
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation. So if someone could make a decision to buy a
house
Use synonyms
 with a mortgage, they will have to pay
bit
Correct article usage
a bit
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 more than they used to
paid
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 when
were they
Correct word order
they were
show examples
 renting. But, they would be pleased
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that they have their own
house
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
end
Change preposition
at the end
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 of the day.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
house
Use synonyms
 that they bought
, probably it will
Correct word order
will probably
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 be
a
Correct article usage
an
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 asset after
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
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 of years.
In addition
Linking Words
, they can buy
an
Correct article usage
apply
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another
house
Use synonyms
 by using
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
house
Use synonyms
. Considering these facts, buying a
house
Use synonyms
 will be a wise idea for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of disadvantages if we rent out an apartment, with a rented apartment, we have to pay the rent just for
accomadating
Correct your spelling
accommodating
. Once the lease
Use synonyms
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
show examples
, we will have
move in to the
Correct word order
to move into
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 another location with
unfamiliar
Correct article usage
an unfamiliar
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 enviroment or we
have
Verb problem
will have
show examples
 to extend the lease with new price.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in a rented apartment, we have to stay
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the way
owner
Correct article usage
the owner
show examples
 wants
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
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 and we can't
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 any changes in
house
Use synonyms
 by own. Over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time, we get nothing by renting a home
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it would be a
regret full
Correct your spelling
regretful
 feeling
Use synonyms
end
Change preposition
at the end
show examples
 of the day. In conclusion,
I'm
Verb problem
I
show examples
 strongly disagree with the opinion that renting a
house
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 we having an ability to afford
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
house
Use synonyms
. So,
Use synonyms
end of
Change preposition
after
show examples
 paying your mortgage, one day you
pleased
Verb problem
are pleased
show examples
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the decision you made even
at the
Change preposition
during
show examples
 hard
time
Check wording
times
show examples
.

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task response
Answer the full question. The task asks for both good and bad points of renting, but your essay mostly talks about buying a home.
task response
Keep your main idea the same from start to end. You say you disagree, but this is not an agree or disagree task.
task response
Add clear ideas about the advantages of renting, such as lower cost at first, easy move, and less repair work.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear topic for each body paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Give short, clear examples to support each main point.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Your view about housing is clear in many lines.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used, such as initially, secondly, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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