It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby. What's your opinion about this?

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Having a hobby to enjoy personal time is very crucial for children, young individuals, employees and

for

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apply

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senior citizens. In my opinion, it is very beneficial for everyone that

hobbies

Use synonyms

bring happiness and provide a great way to relax. For children,

hobbies

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are very important because they promote

overall

Linking Words

child development. Engaging in drawings, painting, and cognitive

activities

Use synonyms

can significantly develop imagination and creativity. If a child plays basketball,

this

Linking Words

can enhance teamwork and discipline, including social skills. These skills are very necessary to learn at

this

Linking Words

age because they will reflect in their future

life

Use synonyms

. Young individuals can

also

Linking Words

benefit from leisure

activities

Use synonyms

. Since they have immense pressure from academic studies and their career,

this

Linking Words

generates stress and anxiety.

However

Linking Words

, if teenagers shift their attention towards reading, fitness, swimming, and extracurricular

activities

Use synonyms

, they can reduce

the

Correct article usage

their

show examples

stress

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

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, helping them to relax and focus on their

career

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careers

show examples

. When they feel happy and positive, their concentration will increase, resulting in better performance in

schools

Check wording

school

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. Working people can

also

Linking Words

bring changes in their lives when they approach

to accomplish

Verb problem

apply

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something different from their jobs. Watching television, travelling,

browsing

Correct word choice

and browsing

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internet

Correct article usage

the internet

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for daily updates foster great change in

life

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, which can increase

their

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

productivity at work. Those people who explore different experiences in daily

life

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can develop confidence and valuable knowledge.

This

Linking Words

will not only

beneficial

Verb problem

be beneficial

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for their personal growth but

also

Linking Words

for professional development.

Similarly

Linking Words

hobbies

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are equally important to older people, who often feel isolated. Pursuing

hobbies

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such

Linking Words

as writing, visiting community parks

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

knitting can keep seniors mentally and physically active.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can significantly improve their quality of

life

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after retirement, promoting a sense of belonging and enjoyment. In conclusion,

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believe that

hobbies

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play a vital role in everyone's

life

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by providing

with

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apply

show examples

multiple benefits.

Hobbies

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can enhance personal satisfaction and enjoyment by engaging in simple

activities

Use synonyms

ksimarjeet225

May 14, 2026

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coherence cohesion

Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Start each part with one simple topic line.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words with more care. Some are good, but a few lines feel long and heavy.

task response

Give one more direct example from real life. This will make your ideas stronger.

task response

Develop the part about working people more clearly. Some examples there are not fully explained as hobbies.

task response

Check small grammar and word form errors because they make some ideas less clear.

task response

Your essay answers the question and gives a clear opinion from the start.

task response

You cover all four groups: children, young adults, workers, and old people.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear intro, body parts, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Most ideas follow a logical order and are easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

hobby
important
people
ages
child
adult
work
life
health
stress
joy
learn
skill
practice
focus
creativity
social
friend
family
time
balance
routine
memory
brain
move
walk
read
draw
music
sport
club
group
free
easy
enjoy
try
start
small
example

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It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby. What's your opinion about this?

5.New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

People nowadays are avoiding the internet laws by creating slangs like "goon" which means sexual self-satisfaction. What extent do you agree?

The range and quality of food that we can buy has changed because of technological and scientific advances. Some people regard this change as an improvement, while other believe that it is harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Tourism is becoming a good source of revenue for many conutries. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of developing this industry.