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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the modern world, a university education is essential in order to get a rewarding job and earn a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Nowdays many people believe
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 is a
need of time
Check wording
necessity
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 to secure a rewarding job with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good pay.I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 mindset.
Body · 1
If you go to find a job for yourself in a good firm
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 first thing they check to segregate the application is
level
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the level
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 of
education
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 the
person
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 has achieved and from which
university
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.It is completely
a
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apply
show examples
fair
thing
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apply
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to do as your
education
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 shows that the candidate
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 learned the required basic skillset for the designation.Let me give
a
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an
show examples
 example -
:
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apply
show examples
proffesions
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professions
 like Doctor,lawyer and civil engineer require a
person
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 to have
learnt
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learned
 the basic skills that are required for
them
Punctuation problem
them,
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 as a
person
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 with no certified experience can not be hired for these.So,
i belive
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I believe
 that
university
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learing
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learning
 is required in most of the industry.
Body · 2
But there are some
expcetional
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exceptional
 cases where talent or
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person's
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a person's
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 intelligence beats
university
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 learning.There are
few
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a few
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 cases of big personality where they college
dropout
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dropouts
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 but still manage to earn a good amount.
Few example
Fix the agreement mistake
A few examples
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 of people like these are Virat
kholi
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Kohli
,
Owner's
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Owners
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 of
zepto, Shahruk khan
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Zepto, Shah Rukh Khan,
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 and there are many more big names that have accomplished
this
Linking Words
. But,they do have brilliant talent or high intelligence that helped them achieve
such
Linking Words
hieghts
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heights
.
Conclusion
So,in my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
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university
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education
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 is important to secure a rewarding job unless you
have
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apply
show examples
have exceptional talent and discipline in a specific field you want to make your career in.

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task response
Answer the question in a more full way. You agree, but you need to show why this is true in more than one clear way.
task response
Use examples that fit the topic better. Jobs like doctor and lawyer are good examples, but famous stars are not strong proof for most jobs.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are short, so the reader wants more detail.
coherence cohesion
Put one main idea in each body part. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with clear words like first, also, however, and so. This will help the flow.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence order and stop very long sentences. This will make meaning clearer.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep it to the end.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use one strong job example to support your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rewarding job = a job that gives good pay and personal satisfaction
  • high salary = a large amount of money from work
  • essential = very important; necessary
  • degree = a university qualification
  • formal education = learning in school, college, or university
  • practical skills = skills for real work
  • work experience = time spent doing a job and learning from it
  • job market = the world of jobs and hiring
  • career path = the way a person’s work life grows
  • employer = a person or company that gives jobs
  • qualification = an exam result or degree needed for work
  • specialized knowledge = deep knowledge in one subject
  • vocational training = job-focused learning
  • earn a living = get money to live
  • well-paid = getting a good salary
  • on-the-job training = learning while doing the job
  • promotion = moving to a higher position
  • job satisfaction = feeling happy with one’s work
  • academic study = study in school or university
  • real-world ability = skill that works in actual life and work
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