IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

*Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. *Why might this be the case? *What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In recent years, an increasing number of individuals have
been
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
opted for freelancing
work
Use synonyms
 rather than doing a
full
Correct your spelling
full-time
time
Use synonyms
 permanent job.
This
Linking Words
shifts
Correct subject-verb agreement
shift
show examples
 clearly reflects the
chaning
Correct your spelling
changing
 attitudes towards flexibility and independence freelance
work
Use synonyms
 provides.
While
Linking Words
 there are some advantages of being self-employed, there are several significant drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as
ficancial
Correct your spelling
financial
 instability, which need to be considered carefully. One compelling reason to choose freelance
work
Use synonyms
 is the greater
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 of autonomy it provides. Since a self-employed person can
work
Use synonyms
 anytime they want, they are not
bounded
Wrong verb form
bound
show examples
 to a
perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
time
Use synonyms
 set.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can have more
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their family and have a healthy
work
Use synonyms
-life balance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by working with multiple organisation someone can
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 a diverse set of skills, which potentially
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 their long term employeability in a competitive job market. Because of these reasons, some peope are prefering to be self-employed.
However
Linking Words
,
freelencing
Correct your spelling
freelancing
work
Use synonyms
 is not without any drawbacks. Perhaps one major disadvantage of being self-employed is the
uncertainity
Replace the word
uncertainty
 of income. Freelance
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 often do not have
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 fixed income like full-
time
Use synonyms
 employees who receive
monthly
Correct article usage
a monthly
show examples
 salary. Since their income heavily depends on the amount of
work
Use synonyms
 they perform and the abailability
work
Use synonyms
, their earnings
flactuate
Correct your spelling
fluctuate
 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they are not entitled to any
employement benifities
Correct your spelling
employment benefits
such
Linking Words
retirement
Change preposition
as retirement
show examples
 plans, healthcare or employment insurance, which can create certain stress for them. In conclusion, the freedom and career opportunities offered by
freelence
Correct your spelling
freelance
work
Use synonyms
 are making more people
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
choose
this
Linking Words
 option.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of being self-employed, the potential drawbacks it holds are not insignificant,
perticularly
Correct your spelling
particularly
 the financial challenge and
stess
Correct your spelling
stress
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why people choose this work, and you explain the bad sides, but some ideas need more detail.
task response
Use one clear example to support your main idea. This will make your answer stronger and easier to trust.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are clear, but a few lines are hard to follow because of word form and grammar mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good basic shape: introduction, body, body, conclusion. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used, but sometimes the sentence does not flow well. Try shorter and clearer sentences.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
Your main points are easy to see: freedom, skill growth, money risk, and lack of work benefits.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well organised into four parts.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion clearly brings your ideas together.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: