IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the chart below shows degrees granted in different fields at the national University in the year 1990,2000 and 2010.

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The pie chart down represent
degrees
Use synonyms
 granted in various
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
 at the
national
Fix capitalization
National
show examples
 University
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 1990 , 2000 and 2010. I am describing the whole data by choosing and announcing the main characteristics and
makeing
Correct your spelling
making
 differentiation where related .
Overall
Linking Words
 , in
1990
Punctuation problem
1990,
show examples
 all degree are below 30% .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2000
degrees
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased with 10 % and in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
 all
degrees
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 below 50%.
To begin
Linking Words
 with 1990 , in
this
Linking Words
 year
computer
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 has 30%
degrees
Use synonyms
 granted at the
national
Fix capitalization
National
show examples
 University.
Whereas
Linking Words
 medicine have 25%
degrees
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 low have 15% grade . And business
also
Linking Words
 have 30%
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
computer
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,
year
Change preposition
in the year
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
 medicine have 30% low has 10%
business
Punctuation problem
, business
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 have 20% and
computer
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 have 40% of
degrees
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
 medicine have 25% of
degrees
Use synonyms
 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 granted at national University.
Whereas
Linking Words
 law has 15% of grades .
Move
Wrong verb form
Moving
show examples
 forward to
business
Punctuation problem
business,
show examples
 it has 15% of grades
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 one is
computer
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 have 45% of
degrees
Use synonyms
 .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand, whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words degrees, computer, science with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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