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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows information about the use of public transport in one coutry, by age group and location of residence, in 2016.

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The line graph presents data outlining the proportion of
residents
Use synonyms
 using public transportation by different
age
Use synonyms
 groups and the location of citizens in 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of
residents
Use synonyms
 using public transportation in metropolitian city is higher in all
age
Use synonyms
 groups except the older
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
. Notably, both urban and other city
residents
Use synonyms
 were intercepted during their old
age
Use synonyms
. In terms of
people
Use synonyms
 living in urban cities, 40%
people
Use synonyms
 from the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 0-14 years use shared
transport
Use synonyms
, which
then
Linking Words
 surged slightly to around 65% in aged
group
Use synonyms
 of 31-45 years before dropping significantly to exactly 10% for older
residents
Use synonyms
 in
aged
Replace the word
the age
group
Use synonyms
 of 61-75.
Also
Linking Words
, older
residents
Use synonyms
 after the
age
Use synonyms
 of 75 tend to use more public
transport
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 they
have used
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 before.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 apart from urban city tends to use less public
transport
Use synonyms
 accounted just above 10% during young
age
Use synonyms
. These
people
Use synonyms
 started using public
transport
Use synonyms
 more when they
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 up
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 approximately 25% during 16
-
Correct word choice
and
show examples
30 years of
age
Use synonyms
. After 30, the
residents
Use synonyms
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
show examples
 to be less interested in using public
Use synonyms
transport
Punctuation problem
transport,
show examples
 recorded similar
to
Check wording
rate to
show examples
 their young
age
Use synonyms
at
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
 around 14%. Over the
age
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 experienced graduall drop in shared commute and
reduced
Replace the word
a reduction of
 just under 10%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words residents, age, group, people, transport with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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