IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 adventurous
places
Use synonyms
 has
been ascended
Verb problem
increased
show examples
. More and more
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 visit
places
Use synonyms
 with challenging weather
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 Mount Everest. The pros and cons of
this
Linking Words
 development will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. To
embark
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with, there are many benefits of going
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
such
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
locations.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is very beneficial for the human body as it improves
overall
Linking Words
 cardiovascular stamina, muscle strength, and resistance to harsh weather.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of dangerous sites will boost
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 confidence level as they face difficult situations, which makes them confident enough to take risky actions in
life
Use synonyms
 that will provide them with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
speedy progress in the forthcoming
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, individuals who
learns
Correct subject-verb agreement
learn
show examples
 how to tackle difficulties in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 are more efficient
to solve
Change preposition
at solving
show examples
 problems and make their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 stable and successful. Despite
of
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
this
Linking Words
 advantages, it
also
Linking Words
 brings some disadvantages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
this
Linking Words
 type of dangerous
Use synonyms
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 has so many hazards which
puts
Correct subject-verb agreement
put
show examples
 one's
life
Use synonyms
 at jeopardy. To exemplify, many people
deceased
Wrong verb form
have died
show examples
while
Linking Words
 climbing mountains
due to
Linking Words
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
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 in oxygen level as they climb
further
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
this
Linking Words
 drop of oxygen ultimately leads to lung collapse and sudden death.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, visiting
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
places
Use synonyms
 with extreme cold or hot
climate
Check wording
climates
show examples
 requires prior preparation to be fully equipped for upcoming challenges, which consumes
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 amount of capital,
such
Linking Words
 as buying shoes, heavy-duty bags, jackets and many more. To recapitulate, even though going to adventurous
places
Use synonyms
 brings some cons
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
life long
Correct your spelling
life-long
 injuries or
heavy
Verb problem
being heavy
show examples
 on
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
, it is worth giving a try
due to
Linking Words
 its ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pros like boosting physical strength and confidence.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. You do this, but some ideas need more detail.
task response
Use examples that fit the topic more closely, such as the Sahara or Antarctic, not only mountains.
task response
Explain your main ideas more clearly. For example, say how hard travel helps tourists, not all people in life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are good, but a few are not natural or correct. Keep them simple and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar and word choice. Shorter sentences will help.
task response
You answer the question and talk about both benefits and disadvantages.
task response
You give some reasons for your ideas, such as health, confidence, danger, and cost.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has 4 clear parts: intro, 2 body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like Firstly, Secondly, Furthermore, and To conclude.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking landscapes
  • unique ecosystems
  • sense of adventure
  • personal growth
  • indigenous cultures
  • environmental conservation
  • climate change
  • environmental degradation
  • economically disadvantaged areas
  • physical health
  • harsh weather
  • difficult terrain
  • limited access to medical facilities
  • fragile ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • basic amenities
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