IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table shows about underground railway system

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The given table illustrates key information about
metro
Use synonyms
 systems in
London
Use synonyms
, Paris,
Tokyo
Use synonyms
, Washington DC,
Kyoto
Use synonyms
, and Los Angeles
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 their establishment dates, network
lenghts
Correct your spelling
lengths
, and annual
passgenger
Correct your spelling
passenger
 numbers in terms of
Use synonyms
million
Check wording
millions
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
London
Use synonyms
 operates the oldest and longest
metro
Use synonyms
 system,
while
Linking Words
Kyoto
Use synonyms
builded
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 several decades after
London
Use synonyms
, it is the shortest and least
utilized
Change the spelling
utilised
show examples
metro
Use synonyms
 line among major cities.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
passenger
Correct article usage
the passenger
show examples
 number
of
Change preposition
in Tokyo
show examples
tokyo
Use synonyms
 obviously
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
 the highest per year. Chronologically,
London
Use synonyms
 was the first
metro
Use synonyms
 system to open in 1893, Paris followed in 1900, and
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 was
Linking Words
firstly
Rephrase
first
show examples
 used by individuals in 1927
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 Washington
Dc
Correct your spelling
, D.C.
 was in
1976
Punctuation problem
1976,
show examples
 after that
Kyoto
Use synonyms
 was in 1981, and Los Angeles is the most updated as
2001
Change preposition
of 2001
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
London
Use synonyms
's network spans 402
Use synonyms
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
, serving approximately 775
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
 annually
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Although
Linking Words
 Paris's
metro
Use synonyms
lenght
Correct your spelling
length
 is nearly half of
London
Use synonyms
 as 199
Use synonyms
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
,
individuals number
Correct word order
the number of individuals
show examples
 per year is considerably higher
almost
Punctuation problem
, almost
show examples
 1191 millions comparession with
London
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 is recorded as the most crowded
metro
Use synonyms
 line with 1928
million
Use synonyms
 individuals
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 155
Use synonyms
kilometers
Change preposition
kilometres of
show examples
 lines. Washgingtons Dc handles 144
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
 and measures 124
kilomoteres
Correct your spelling
kilometres
 in
lenght
Correct your spelling
length
.
Kyoto
Use synonyms
 indicates the lowest values in both number of
passengers
Use synonyms
 and extent, 11
Use synonyms
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
, 45
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
respectievely
Correct your spelling
respectively
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words metro, london, tokyo, kyoto, million, kilometers, passengers with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: