It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you don't want to do, or don't have time to do, for example, household chores or looking after children. Is this a good way of providing work for others? Should people do these things themselves? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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We live in an age when sometimes people pay to someone to do things which they do not want to do or may be they do not have time to do things like household chores and take
care
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of teenagers. The first and foremost reason is, though
this
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way Citizens are more leisure time to pursue their passion.
In other words
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, By paying to
others
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for our
work
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, they will do our
work
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by our satisfaction
such
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as laundry and dishes. In
this
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busy lifestyle we cannot give proper attention to our kids. By paying them we can take
care
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of our minors.
For Instance
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, In China, there is a survey which showed that 75% of Parents are more relaxed by enrolling their children in child
care
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service. With regard to
this
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question, population become more healthy if they do their daily household
work
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by themselves.
Moreover
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, they will give valuable knowledge to their kids in early ages which is cannot provide by any child
care
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or by teachers.
For example
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, Women are amazing well being who do
work
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by themselves than those who pay to
others
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for their
work
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.
Hence
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, parents teach their kids good values than the
others
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who do not. In conclusion, children learn good value from their parents is crucial than to pay to child
care
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and do not learn anything from them.
however
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, through
this
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people can live more healthy lifestyle and
others
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.

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task response
Answer both questions more clearly. Say if this is good for work, and say when people should do it by themselves.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear in each body part. Now some ideas are hard to follow.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more linked to your point.
coherence and cohesion
Add simple link words like first, also, on the other hand, and as a result.
task response
Support each main point with one clear reason and one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Write a stronger end. Your last lines are not clear now.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to discuss both sides of the question.
task response
You use one example about child care in China.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic contribution
  • Specialization
  • Efficiency
  • Work-life balance
  • Productivity
  • Leisure time
  • Stress reduction
  • Quality of work
  • Trained professionals
  • Dependency
  • Life skills
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Accomplishment
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