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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans below shows the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

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The map below shows the plan of a university's
sports
Use synonyms
 centre now, and how the centre will look after reconstruction.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that
sports
Use synonyms
 centre become more bigger and adding new kinds of features. At the moment, opposite the entrance is the reception. After the reception is the 25m
pool
Use synonyms
, on the East
side
Use synonyms
 of the
pool
Use synonyms
, a seating
.
Check wording
area.
show examples
 On the West
side
Use synonyms
 located changing room. At the top of the
pool
Use synonyms
 is a gym. From the outside are outdoor courts on both sides. On the map of future plans,
while
Linking Words
 reception,
pool
Use synonyms
, seating and changing room remained intact, the gym became larger. At the bottom of the gym
sports
Use synonyms
 hall will be added. The leisure
pool
Use synonyms
 is on the West
side
Use synonyms
 of the 25m
pool
Use synonyms
, which was previously occupied by outdoor courts.
While
Linking Words
 the 25m
pool
Use synonyms
 occupied the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, the dance studios were in the top of the East.
Besides
Linking Words
 all these new
addings
Replace the word
additions
, there are
also
Linking Words
 two new changing rooms, a cafe and a
sports
Use synonyms
 shop. The new changing rooms are located on the edge of the South on both sides.
Use synonyms
Sports
Correct article usage
The sports
show examples
 shop
located
Verb problem
is located
show examples
 next to the changing rooms on the West
side
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the cafe is next to the changing room that
located
Verb problem
is located
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the East
side
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Write a clearer overview. Say the main changes in one or two lines, like bigger size and more new rooms.
task response
Cover all key changes in a more even way. Some new parts are named, but the full plan is not always easy to follow.
task response
Use more exact place words. For example: to the east of, to the west of, at the bottom, at the top.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas better. Write one part for the centre now, and one part for the future plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like while, also, on the left, on the right, after that.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence form. Some lines are hard to follow because words are missing or in the wrong place.
task response
You gave an overview of the main trend: the sports centre will be bigger and have more features.
task response
You mentioned many important parts of both maps, such as the pool, gym, changing room, cafe, and sports shop.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic order: now first, then future plan.
coherence and cohesion
You used place words many times to describe where things are.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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