IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The concept of division of
labor
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labour
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 states that for
a
Correct article usage
an
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 economy to function properly, it has to be made up of those who
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
 the capital to invest and build, and others who provide the essential
labor
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labour
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 required to operate society.
Other wise
Correct your spelling
Otherwise
 known as the wealthy and the poor.
This
Linking Words
 poses a problem if only a set of
people
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 or persons keep amassing wealth,
while
Linking Words
 the rest
keeps
Correct subject-verb agreement
keep
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 getting poorer. One of the
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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this
Linking Words
 might incur
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 will be an
increase
Replace the word
increased
 rate of insecurity, the less privileged
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
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 looking for unethical ways to
meet ends
Correct word order
make ends meet
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. They get involved in horrible vices
such
Linking Words
armed
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as armed
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 robbery, kidnapping, fraud, and even sometimes killing, thereby making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society unsafe to live in. And without access to proper education
,
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apply
show examples
 and quality schools, it gives the poor
people
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less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
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 chances of getting a good job and feeding their families. Do not forget the untimely deaths of citizens who do not have access to proper health care services.
This
Linking Words
 problem can be resolved
,
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apply
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 if the government could help provide multiple means of employment for
people
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 within
this
Linking Words
 purview.
This
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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turn
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turn,
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 will reduce
crime
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the crime
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 rate, make the community safe again, create multiple opportunities, and give hope for
people
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 to be able to build their way up. Provision of better educational and vocational training programmes to equip
people
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 with good skills to land better jobs and improve their lives. The government could
also
Linking Words
 help by providing financial aid to assist the less privileged, build
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
 hospitals and schools in poor communities, and assist with housing.
Finally
Linking Words
, rich
people
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 and big companies should pay higher taxes to help reduce the gap between social classes and support public services. In conclusion, the growing
between
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divide between
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 the rich and the poor poses a big threat to the economy of any country.
However
Linking Words
, by improving education, providing health care, financial aid, housing and applying fair tax systems, societies can become more equal, stable and peaceful.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain the problems well, but the ways to fix poverty can be a bit more full.
task response
Use one or two clear examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Some ideas are clear, but a few parts are too general. Try to explain how each solution will work.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some links are good, but a few sentences are too long and hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Make each main idea stand out in its own sentence, then add support after it. This will improve flow.
task response
You answer the question about problems and solutions, so the essay stays on topic.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand, especially crime, lack of school, and health care.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Most ideas follow in a logical order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Income inequality
  • Wealth gap
  • Socioeconomic disparities
  • Marginalized communities
  • Impoverished individuals
  • Privileged elite
  • Disparity in living standards
  • Social stratification
  • Exacerbate
  • Living below the poverty line
  • Income distribution
  • Lack of access to basic necessities
  • Food insecurity
  • Limited healthcare services
  • Education barriers
  • Socioeconomic mobility
  • Resentment
  • Economic disparities
  • Resource allocation
  • Underprivileged
  • Vulnerable populations
  • Cyclical nature of poverty
  • Government intervention
  • Multilateral cooperation
  • Empowerment
  • Progressive taxation
  • Equal opportunities
  • Social safety nets
  • Unemployment rate
  • Corruption
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