In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

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In most economies,the number of parents who agree to self-educate their children at home has become increasingly common,thinking that it is better than sending them to
school
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,
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. Although
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although
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this
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offers several benefits,it
also
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has some drawbacks. One major advantage,teaching your kids by yourself will make you sure and certain that
he's
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they're
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learning,because the focus will be only on
him
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them
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,
while
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in
school
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,
due to
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the large numbers,the teachers might not be aware of each child.
Secondly
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,the parents would genuinely give all their efforts in order to educate them,as opposed to
school
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teachers who provide
this
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service for payback
On the other hand
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,children need the phase of
school
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to grow up
,
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;
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they have to face challenges
,
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apply
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and experience independence from a young age.
Moreover
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,not every parents are fit to educate without reference.
In contrast
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,
school
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teachers are qualified and more experienced in
this
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field.
Furthermore
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,kids makes frinends and gain communication skills mostly from
school
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,
for example
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,all of my friends have been with me since middle
school
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. In conclusion,
while
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there are clear advantages,the disadvantages should not be overloked, in fact, I believe that every child has to experience going to
school
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,
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apply
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in order to grow up and develop new skills that will stay with
him for ever
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them forever
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.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly in the first part. Say if the good points are more than the bad points.
task response
Give one more clear example for each main idea. This will make your answer stronger.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more. Some points are good, but they need more support.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words between ideas, like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences shorter and easier to follow. A few parts are hard to read.
coherence and cohesion
Put commas and full stops more carefully. This will help the reader understand your meaning.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your opinion in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas are easy to find in each paragraph.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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