IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The bar chart show the number of visitors to three Londan Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
 us know the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 to 3 London museums from 2007 to 2012. We will see the important point and make comparisons where relevant.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
2007
Punctuation problem
2007,
show examples
 the increase
Use synonyms
number
Change preposition
in the number
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 around 15 million for
Use synonyms
Victoria
Correct article usage
the Victoria
show examples
 and
Albert
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
that decreasing
Replace the word
the decrease in the
number
Use synonyms
 is national Gallery around 5
millions
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the dropped annual visitor is from
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 it around 5
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
.
And
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 highest
number
Use synonyms
 from 2009 is
Victoria
Use synonyms
 and
Albert
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
it's
Punctuation problem
, it's
show examples
 around 8
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Punctuation problem
contrast,
show examples
 in
2012
Punctuation problem
2012,
show examples
 the most popular
museum
Use synonyms
 is national gallery it's more than 15
Use synonyms
millions
Check wording
million
show examples
 annual
visitor
Check wording
visitors
show examples
. And decreasing
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
visitors
Correct word order
number of visitors
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 is
Use synonyms
Victoria
Correct article usage
the Victoria
show examples
 and
Albert
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, it's
show examples
it's
Correct pronoun usage
which is
show examples
 10
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
.
At the end
Linking Words
, we summarise the important points and see what
increasing and decreasing it's almost change
Wrong verb form
has changed
show examples
 from 2007 to 2012 and
Change preposition
in 2007
show examples
2007
Punctuation problem
2007,
show examples
 the famous
museum
Use synonyms
 is
Victoria
Use synonyms
 and
Albert
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Museum
Punctuation problem
Museum,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 in 2012. It was national Gallery.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, victoria, albert, museum, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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