IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills.Do you agree or disagree?

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In the contemporary era, technological devices,
such
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 as
computers
Use synonyms
 and
smartphones
Use synonyms
, have become a safety net and
everyday
Correct article usage
an everyday
show examples
 assistant for all of us. It is super convenient to communicate,
text
Verb problem
send text
show examples
 messages to each other, and look for useful information.
However
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, some individuals think that the excessive usage of these tools can lead to poor reading and writing abilities. Personally, I partly agree with
this
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 view as it can
also
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 bring certain benefits that I will discuss in the following paragraphs. There are several aspects of why
people
Use synonyms
 think that the increasing usage of these devices can be harmful to reading and writing skills.
Firstly
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, the
texts'
Check wording
apply
show examples
fonts on the Internet are very convenient and easy to read.
People
Use synonyms
 can effortlessly go through the text by skimming and scanning for the specific information.
Therefore
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, it can negatively affect their curiosity and ability-of-searching-properly.
Secondly
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,
smartphones
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 and
computers
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 have functions that can help to write certain words without writing them manually.
As a consequence
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, individuals may lack of finding and correct their mistakes by themselves.
Nevertheless
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,
smartphones
Use synonyms
 and
computers
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 are beneficial for completing tasks by using them wisely. These tools offer a variety of different possibilities and offers that are undoubtedly effective. By clicking on buttons, many tasks can be completed, making the process efficient and convenient.
Therefore
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, I do not agree that it can be totally harmful. If
people
Use synonyms
 use these devices wisely, carefully and in a balanced manner, the consequences listed above may be prevented. The Internet, different articles and statements are advantageous options and answers for
people
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. So, by reading and writing carefully and wisely with a certain aim,
people
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 may not be affected by negative consequences.
To sum up
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, it is widely believed that
smartphones
Use synonyms
 and
computers
Use synonyms
 negatively affect
people
Use synonyms
's reading and writing abilities.
However
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, I think with proper usage, wisdom, and caution, negative possibilities may be prevented.

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task response
Make your opinion more clear from start to end. You say partly agree, but later you say do not agree. Keep one clear position.
task response
Add one or two real and clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and more easy to trust.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are too general, so the reader wants more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts connect well, but some ideas jump too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea. This will help the essay feel more organized.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence forms like 'lack of finding' and 'ability-of-searching-properly' because they make meaning less clear.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
task response
Your essay answers the topic and talks about both bad and good sides.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing, and this helps the reader follow your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • comprehension skills
  • digital content
  • sustained reading capabilities
  • texting and messaging apps
  • abbreviations
  • acronyms
  • emojis
  • formally and coherently
  • educational resources
  • scholarly articles
  • educational apps
  • enhance
  • digital platforms
  • blogs
  • social media posts
  • online forums
  • concise
  • impactful writing
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