IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that certain old buildings that are historically important in cities or the countryside should be preserved. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that specific ancient buildings that have a historical
improtance
Correct your spelling
importance
 in urban and rural areas must be preserved. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because most of
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 represent the whole culture of the city and
it
Correct determiner usage
its
show examples
 ancient times.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it can be a
tourists
Fix the agreement mistake
tourist
show examples
attraction
Use synonyms
.
Body · 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, Old buildings anywhere show the culture of
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 and
method
Correct article usage
the method
show examples
 of architecture. So it is solid evidence for local
people
Use synonyms
 and foreign
people
Use synonyms
for learning
Wrong verb form
to learn
show examples
 about the city.
Such
Linking Words
 as
Europian
Correct your spelling
European
 cathedrals in Paris and Milan that represent the
europian
Fix capitalization
European
show examples
 method in
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 days for building. And
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
 it is a
tourists
Fix the agreement mistake
tourist
show examples
attraction
Use synonyms
 throughout the world. And
also
Linking Words
 it can be a
religous
Correct your spelling
religious
attraction
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the two building in the summit of the
mousa mountain
Fix capitalization
Mousa Mountain
show examples
 in Egypt. When all
this
Linking Words
 do not just building they connect current
people
Use synonyms
 for their old
ancetors
Correct your spelling
ancestors
. Because of
this
Linking Words
, they have a high
potiential
Correct your spelling
potential
 to aid any country
finacially
Correct your spelling
financially
 to be a tourist
attraction
Use synonyms
.
Body · 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, those
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 sometimes can disblay bad image because of thier older.
Escpeially
Correct your spelling
Especially
 in rural areas
when
Correct word choice
, where
show examples
 they contain a lot of old buildings that governments ignore. So those
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 can have a high
potiential
Correct your spelling
potential
 to aid any country
finacially
Correct your spelling
financially
 to be a tourist
attraction
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 can repair them carefully in the same style of building.
Conclusion
In conclusion, old
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 have a high
potintial
Correct your spelling
potential
 to aid countries to be a tourist
attraction
Use synonyms
, so they must governments must repair their
ignoring one
Replace the word
ignorance
 of them,
when
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 they represent the culture and old way of building.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Start each part with one clear point, then explain it.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion are good, but some ideas repeat.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with one clear example and one short explanation.
task achievement
Answer the question in a more full way. You agree, but you should explain why old buildings should be kept in more depth.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more clearly. Some sentences are hard to understand, so your message is not always fully clear.
task achievement
Use examples that are more exact and easier to follow. This will make your answer stronger.
task achievement
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
You include both an introduction and a conclusion.
task achievement
You try to use examples from real places.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a basic paragraph structure.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • historical significance
  • urban development
  • tourism
  • community identity
  • infrastructure
  • demolition
  • economic benefits
  • educational value
  • architectural heritage
  • modernization
  • local businesses
  • physical representation
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