IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, people prefer to communicate through social media rather than face-to-face. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
In
the
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apply
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contemporary society, the rapid enhancement of technology has brought dramatic convenience to people’s daily communication
by some
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through
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 online platforms
such
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 as Zoom and Microsoft Teams. It is common for people to choose
communicating
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to communicate
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 through social
media
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 rather than face-to-face. Personally, I argue that the disadvantages of using social
media
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 to communicate outweigh the advantages.
Body · 1
Admittedly,
although
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 social
media
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 provides
a
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the
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 benefit of convenience,
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however
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apply
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as a method of communicating, the issue of accuracy shouldn’t be neglected.First and foremost, one significant advantage of face-to-face
interactions
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 is
it
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that it
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 avoids misunderstandings as face-to-face
interactions
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includes
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include
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 not only the content of what’s spoken, but
also
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 the facial
expressions
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, body languages and tones are presented which cannot be shown clearly in social
media
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.
For instance
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, research from Stanford University in 2021 showed
the
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that the
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 percentage of information delivered by
content of text
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text content
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 only takes 35%
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while
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, while
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 the proportion of facial
expressions
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,
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and
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 body language takes approximately 20% and 45% as it represents the attitude towards the issues.
Body · 2
Moreover
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, in-person
interactions
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 strengthen mutual trust. Specifically, as the tone and facial
expressions
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 are mutually accessible, reliable bonds can be built by the sincere manners and physical interaction, which is both crucial for business cooperation and close personal relationships.
For example
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, if something is misunderstood during negotiation, the speakers can
realize
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realise
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 the problem by facial
expressions
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 or physical
interactions
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such
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, such
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 as frowning and
then
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 solve the problem instantly and effectively.
Therefore
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, the function of building close relationships cannot be replaced by communicating on social
media
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, despite the undeniable convenience of modern technology, face-to-face communications
remains
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remain
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 indispensable
by its
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due to their
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 accuracy and the building of mutual trust.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear in the body. You say the bad points are greater, but most of the essay talks about why face-to-face talk is good. Add one clear paragraph on the good side of social media, then show why the bad side is still stronger.
task response
Answer all parts of the task in a direct way. The question asks if the good points are more than the bad points. Use clear compare words like 'more important', 'less serious', and 'overall'.
task response
Give ideas in a more full way. Some points are good, but they need a bit more detail about how social media causes problems in real life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape, because it helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with linking words. 'Although' and 'however' should not be used together in the same sentence here. Use one or the other.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and hard to follow. Break them into shorter sentences so each idea is easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with one clear example and explain it simply. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep the same view to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion matches your main idea and ends the essay well.
coherence and cohesion
Your two body paragraphs each have one main point, so the essay is easy to follow.
task response
The example about business talk helps support your point about trust.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Knowledge sharing
  • Social engagement
  • Digital marketing
  • Networking opportunities
  • Cybersecurity
  • Online privacy
  • Digital literacy
  • Social awareness
  • Echo chamber effect
  • Information overload
  • Digital footprint
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