Demand for oil and gas is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

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Introduction
with
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With
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the increasing demand for
oil
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and
gas
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,exploring remote and untouched
eras
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areas
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has become increasingly necessary.
Although
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this
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development may provide economic benefits,I believe the environmental disadvantages
outhweigh
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outweigh
these advantages.
Body · 1
On one hand,
oil
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and
gas
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are among the most important resources that
contibute
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contribute
to economic growth
,
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;
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many counties depends on these tangible
aspects
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assets
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to
increase
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their source of national power.
For instance
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, the United
State
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States
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is ranked as the richest country in the world and its wealth is powered by these natural resources.
Therefore
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,it is essential for growth to search for it.
However
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, there are several other ways for the economy to rise and grow.
For example
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,Saudi Arabia launched a long-term strategy plan called Vision 2030,aiming for reducing the dependence on
oil
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and
increase
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production in other sectors.
This
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would lead to expansion without the need for
oil
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and
gas
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.
Body · 2
On the other hand
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,searching in new locations can negatively impact the environment, digging into the ground and affecting untouched areas. These activities could release harmful gases and chemicals that
increase
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the exposure to environmental risks
such
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as air pollution,
thus
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,not only humans will
get
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be
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affected but
also
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animals and plants.
Furthermore
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,natural places will disappear
,
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;
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even though it is a remote location, it is still part of nature and a huge asset to consider.Eventually,nothing is more important than protecting our environment because it will affect society as a whole.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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the search for new places to gain
gas
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and
oil
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could
increase
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the state powers,it's drawbacks should be considered because it affects the environment , and
this
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disadvantage definitely outweighs the advantages.

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task response
Answer the main question more directly in each body part. Show more clearly why the bad side is stronger than the good side.
task response
Develop your ideas more. Some points are good, but they need one more step of explanation.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and closely linked to the topic of oil and gas in remote places.
coherence and cohesion
Make linking smoother. Some sentences jump too fast from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph unity. In the first body part, the last part moves to a different idea quite suddenly.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with punctuation and spacing, because they can make the flow harder to follow.
task response
You answer both sides and give a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The overall order of ideas is easy to follow.
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