IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below illustrates weekly consumption by age group of dairy products in a European country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
The table illustrates the weekly consumption of
dairy
Use synonyms
 products across different
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in one European country.
Overall
Linking Words
, a group of old
people
Use synonyms
 consume more
dairy
Use synonyms
 products than younger ones,
while
Linking Words
 the highest consumption of butter was among those who aged between 45
-
Correct word choice
and
show examples
65. Preferences for low-fat milk exceed full fat for all
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
. In detail,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
people
Use synonyms
 above 65 consume far more
dairy
Use synonyms
 products than the other
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
, at
weekly
Correct article usage
a weekly
show examples
of
Check wording
consumption of
show examples
 1900ml, followed by
people
Use synonyms
 between the ages of 45 and 65 and
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
 of 26-45, who use 1670ml and 1650ml, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 under 25 consume less
dairy
Use synonyms
. The 45–65
age
Use synonyms
 group consumes 60g of butter weekly, which is the highest among all other
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 under 25 eat it 5 times less, but with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 percentage of full-fat. Interestingly, all
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 preferred low-fat milk rather than a full-fat one, with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 80% among those aged 26–45.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words dairy, age, groups, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: