People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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Introduction

Nowdays

Correct your spelling

Nowadays

people

Use synonyms

work hard to buy more

things

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

made our life generally more comfortable

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

it is a pity

many

Correct word choice

that many

show examples

traditional

valus

Correct your spelling

values

have been lost on the way to

such

Linking Words

materialism. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement

too

Change preposition

for

show examples

many reasons. The two main reasons are

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

paying

Change preposition

for

show examples

things

Use synonyms

that

Verb problem

are more

show examples

important and

saveing

Correct your spelling

saving

money

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

bad days. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

we will explain those issues in

details

Check wording

detail

show examples

Body · 1

deing

Correct your spelling

begin

with,

people

Use synonyms

spend their

money

Use synonyms

on more significant

things

Use synonyms

. In other

word

Fix the agreement mistake

words

show examples

, they could buy these

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

later.

For example

Linking Words

, Leen

want

Correct subject-verb agreement

wants

show examples

to buy channel bags.

However

Linking Words

, she

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

to buy

house

Correct article usage

a house

show examples

Punctuation problem

, so

show examples

she preference house from

bag

Correct article usage

the bag

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should

enter

Verb problem

invest

show examples

their

money

Use synonyms

in business .

For instance

Linking Words

, building campany that

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

money

Use synonyms

to have

perfect

Correct article usage

a perfect

show examples

life.

Also

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can start commerce just like open shop and

sell

Wrong verb form

selling

show examples

bags or opening resturanent.

Body · 2

Another reason,

People

Use synonyms

should save

money

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

their

worriest

Correct your spelling

worst

days. There is a famous saying

Body · 3

''that person

how

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

has saved

money

Use synonyms

for black days

willn't

Use the right word

won't

show examples

need

other

Correct determiner usage

another

show examples

person

Check wording

person's

show examples

hand''. That

mean

Correct subject-verb agreement

means

show examples

it's one of importants we should put

money

Use synonyms

beside

Change preposition

aside

show examples

to not need help from our community.

In addition

Linking Words

may you will

Correct word order

you may

show examples

have problems in your job.

For instance

Linking Words

, you must improve your work

Punctuation problem

, like

show examples

open new place or change your job

Punctuation problem

, in

show examples

Linking Words

this

Fix the agreement mistake

these

show examples

times

people

Use synonyms

will need

exter

Correct your spelling

extra

money

Use synonyms

to solve these issues.

Conclusion

In conclusion, despite

people

Use synonyms

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

different views

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

topic. I

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that if we put our

money

Use synonyms

things

Use synonyms

that

Verb problem

are more

show examples

sucessful

Correct your spelling

successful

, we will outperform from once who

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

many in unnecessery products.

anamahsyn2

May 23, 2026

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task response

Answer the main question more clearly. Say why you agree, and link each body part to loss of old values, not only money use.

task response

Make your main ideas easy to follow. Use one clear point in each body part, then explain it with a simple example.

task response

Give examples that fit the topic better. Show how buying more things can hurt family time, respect, or simple living.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer topic sentences. Start each body part with one short sentence that tells the main idea.

coherence and cohesion

Connect ideas with simple link words like first, also, because, for example, and in conclusion. Do not overuse them.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence order. Some ideas jump too fast, so add one more sentence to explain how one idea leads to the next.

coherence and cohesion

You have an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion. This gives your essay a clear basic shape.

task response

You give a clear opinion: you agree with the statement.

task response

You try to use examples to support your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

materialism
traditional values
consumerism
cultural identity
quality of life
engagement
community cohesion
economic pressures
anecdotal evidence
cultural heritage
personal fulfillment
balance
heritage preservation
disconnection
mindset

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People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crimes prevention, while others believe that it is responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

The old generation often hold traditional ideas about the correct way of life, thinking and behavior. However, some people think that these ideas are not helpful for young people to prepare for modern life. To what extent do agree or disagree?

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement