IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Prison is the best punishment for criminals. Discuss. Give reasons for youe answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlidge or experience

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Introduction
Penal punishment is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the best possible outcome for the offenders.
This
Linking Words
 is because they would face the consequences for their illegal actions, and
also
Linking Words
, it would
refrain
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
 them
to harm
Change preposition
from harming
show examples
 the public
under
Change preposition
while in
show examples
 detention.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
further
Linking Words
 elaborate these
resons
Correct your spelling
reasons
 in
details
Check wording
detail
show examples
 in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraphs.
Body · 1
People
Use synonyms
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 crimes need to be held accountable for their actions.
This
Linking Words
 would make an effort in providing justice to the public by punishing an offender for
commission
Correct article usage
the commission
show examples
 of a crime.
For example
Linking Words
, some illicit
acts
Use synonyms
 committed by criminals are of
extreme
Correct article usage
an extreme
show examples
 nature, and they require
sever
Use the right word
severe
show examples
 penal punishment to restore faith in the justice system.
Criminal
Check wording
Criminals
show examples
 getting incarcerated
due to
Linking Words
 breaking the
laws
Check wording
law
show examples
 will create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
respect
in
Change preposition
for the law in
show examples
 mind of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
for the laws
Change preposition
apply
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, and it will make
people
Use synonyms
 obey the
laws
Check wording
law
show examples
 efficiently.
Body · 2
Additionally
Linking Words
, detention becomes a necessity in
rarest
Correct article usage
the rarest
show examples
 of rare cases. Some illegal
acts
Use synonyms
 are of
extreme
Correct article usage
an extreme
show examples
 nature that creates a reasonable doubt in the minds of the deciding authorities, whether granting bail or probation might be proved harmful for the public. As the offenders might continue to commit offences upon their release. So, in
such
Linking Words
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
 incarceration becomes a mandatory aspect to mitigate the chances of illicit
acts
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, for some criminals,
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 crimes is considered
as
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apply
show examples
a job or leisure
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it is not committed in error,
therefore
Linking Words
, upon getting out of
public
Check wording
prison
show examples
, they might continue it again.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
show examples
 of the justice system to protect the
people
Use synonyms
 present in their jurisdiction, and the
efficient
Rephrase
most efficient
show examples
possible
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
way is to detain the person committing the offences in order to restrict them from doing illegal
acts
Use synonyms
 and
holding
Wrong verb form
hold
show examples
 them accountable.

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task response
Answer the full question more directly. You say prison is best, but you do not really discuss other forms of punishment.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear in each body paragraph. Start with one clear point, then explain it, then give one strong example.
task response
Use more specific examples. Your examples are general, so they do not strongly support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Link sentences in a smoother way. Some parts feel repeated or too long, so the flow is not always easy to follow.
task response
Develop your ideas more fully. Explain why prison works better than other choices such as fines or community service.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic of crime and punishment.
coherence and cohesion
Your two main points are easy to see: punishment and public safety.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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