IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some feel that punishment should focus more on rehabilitation instead of long prison terms. Others feel prison terms are important for social stability. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Introduction
The world is usually
divide
Wrong verb form
divided
show examples
 when the topic arises on punishment. There are chunks of
people
Use synonyms
 who think that punishment should be more of
rehab
Correct article usage
a rehab
show examples
then
Linking Words
, to spend the long time in prison.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think that the social stability in
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 terms are more important. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will take a look
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 both the points and
l
Correct your spelling
I
 will give my opinion in the
last
Linking Words
 paragraph.
Body · 1
To commence with the first notion, there are
myraid of
Correct your spelling
myriad
 things that
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to be shared.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are so many prisoners
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are not so dangerous in the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, we can consider a small thief or
shoplifters
Check wording
a shoplifter
show examples
 who
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 it for their basic necessity.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
 think that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 we
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can be very useful for
Linking Words
this type
Fix the agreement mistake
these types
show examples
 of prisoners to
be a
Verb problem
become
show examples
 better man near future.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that either
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 a criminal
as
Verb problem
is
show examples
 a criminal, even if he or she has committed a small crime. To illustrate, crimes like rape or acid attacker doesn't need a rehab but a
socially away
Replace the word
social distance
 from normal human beings.
Finally
Linking Words
, there are a few
people
Use synonyms
 who think longer prison terms can
also
Linking Words
 change a person within themselves.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
according to
Linking Words
 my perspective, I feel like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petty
crimes like chaining or burglary criminals
Correct word order
criminals like chaining or burglary
show examples
 should be taken into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rehab so that they can change and
be a
Verb problem
become
show examples
 better
human
Check wording
humans
show examples
 in the near future.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Write a little more about why rehab helps and why prison helps social order.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way and keep it the same from start to end.
task response
Use one clear example for each side. Make the example easy to understand and close to the main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph stay on one side only. This will make your plan easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check each sentence so the meaning is clear. Some lines are hard to follow now.
task response
You discuss both views and you give your opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples to support your ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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