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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Cutting down forests is a real environmental threat; yet, this is still happening at a great rate around the world. Why do you think forests are being destroyed? Are there any benefits from the destruction of forests?

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Introduction
In today’s rapidly evolving
world
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, some argue that cutting down
forests
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 leads to detrimental consequences in the
environment
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 practice continues at a significant rate around the
world
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. I firmly believe that
urbanization play
Correct subject-verb agreement
urbanisation plays
show examples
 a crucial role in growing
this
Linking Words
 trend, and the practice offers more disadvantages compared to its advantages.
Body · 1
One major reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 cutting down
forests
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 is that the population of cities has increased considerably.
This
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 mainly leads to urban
areas
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 becoming crowded and society facing a lack of residential
areas
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.
As a result
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,
this
Linking Words
 practice greatly
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 cities
are expanded and suitable places
Correct word order
expand and suitable places are
show examples
 constructed for people’s accommodation. A relevant example can be observed in Iran, where policymakers
by
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, by
show examples
 building affordable houses for individuals in the
countryside
Punctuation problem
countryside,
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 could manage the traffic congestion in towns and provide them with suitable places for living.
Therefore
Linking Words
, overpopulation in urban
areas
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 can play a crucial role in
destruction
Replace the word
destroying
forests
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in
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apply
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all around the
world
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.
Body · 2
However
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, cutting down
forests
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 can offer drawbacks to the
environment
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 and people. One major disadvantage is climate change.
This
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 phenomenon contributes to
disappearing
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the disappearance of
 species and
destroying
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the destruction of the
 ecosystem.
Consequently
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, people face various challenges, ranging from air pollution to destructive floods. As an example, destroying
forests
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 in residential
areas
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 can result in destructive floods and storms, which
threatens
Correct subject-verb agreement
threaten
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 society and people’s health.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 destructive trend can considerably cause harmful outcomes in both the community and the
environment
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, from my perspective, overpopulation significantly contributes to cutting down
forests
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 in the
world
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, which leads to a series of detrimental consequences in both the
environment
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 and society,
such
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 as destructive storms and
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
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 ecosystem.

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task response
Answer both questions more directly. You explain why forests are cut down, but the part about benefits is not fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear in each body paragraph. Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar mistakes.
task response
Use examples that match your point better. The Iran example is not clear and does not fully show forest loss.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simpler way. Words like 'as a result', 'however', and 'therefore' are good, but some sentences do not connect well.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with one clear reason and one clear result. This will make your essay easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
You give a clear opinion that forest cutting has more bad effects than good ones.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic paragraph structure, and each paragraph has one main focus.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • commercial logging
  • urban sprawl
  • climate change
  • economic activity
  • infrastructure projects
  • sustainable development
  • environmental degradation
  • renewable resources
  • biodiversity loss
  • ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • conservation efforts
  • carbon footprint
  • afforestation
  • renewable resources
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