in some countries, people prefer to rent a house to live in, while in other countries people prefer to buy their own house. does renting a housr have more advantages or disadvantages than buying a house?

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Introduction
While
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in some
countries
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, residents
favor
Verb problem
prefer
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to live in rented houses, in other
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countries
Punctuation problem
countries,
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people
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consider owning a home
is
Wrong verb form
to be
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more preferable. Both advantages
,
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apply
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and disadvantages will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs, and I believe the foremost statement.
Body · 1
To begin
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with, in some
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countries
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countries,
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people
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prefer renting houses to live in. From their point of view, living in a rented
house
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gives them freedom of choice. They do not have to live in one place for long,
while
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they have the benefit
to change
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of changing
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the
house
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or the area
,
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apply
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whenever they need.
This
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also
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gives them more career opportunities.
For example
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, they can move to other cities if they find better jobs there.
Also
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, buying a
house
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is very expensive,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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costs a fortune, and a lot of savings.
Body · 2
However
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, in some other
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countries
Add a comma
countries,
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people
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are in
favor
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favour
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of buying their own home. Owning a
house
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gives security
,
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apply
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during unemployment.
Therefore
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, there are a lot of
people
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who save money for their whole life, do
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
,and live a tight-budget life, just to be
an owner
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the owners
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of a
house
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. Living in our own
house
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also
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gives us financial freedom, as we do not have to pay a high amount of money to the landlord.
In addition
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, children or their next generation do not have to struggle for a
shed
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shelter
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to live. Buying
a
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apply
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land, or an
apartment
Punctuation problem
apartment,
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means eternal ownership
,
Punctuation problem
;
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there is no time limit.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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renting a
house
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has many benefits, buying a
house
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is more secure for the
upcoming
Correct word choice
future
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economy.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. You say both sides, but your view is not fully clear until the end.
task response
Give more direct reasons for why renting has more good points or more bad points than buying.
task response
Use one or two clear examples to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, reason, example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some lines jump too fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea in different words. This can make the essay less focused.
task response
You discuss both renting and buying, so the answer stays on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear start, two body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Some points are easy to follow, such as moving for work and saving money.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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