Enviromental problems should be solved by the goverment isntead of individuals and private companis. To what extent do you agree o disagree?

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Introduction
As the world is evolving over the period of time, we can clearly see the change in climate. Some people believe that it should be solved by the
government
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
some people think that it should be done by the
with the
Change preposition
apply
show examples
community and the private
companies
Use synonyms
. I partially think it's a job of the
government
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
living in the society
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
that each and everyone can contribute
in
Change preposition
to
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protecting the environment.
Body · 1
Government
Use synonyms
possess the authority and financial resources required to address environmental challenges on a large scale. They can introduce strict action, limit carbon emissions and encourage renewable energy
source
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sources
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.
For instance
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,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
of India has banned plastic bags from the local shop vendors.
Furthermore
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,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
can cooperate internationally to tackle global issues
such
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as climate change, which cannot be solved by an individual or company alone.
Body · 2
On the other hand
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, individual and private
companies
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
have an essential role to play
protecting
Change preposition
in protecting
show examples
the environment. People can reduce waste, recycle material
and
Punctuation problem
and,
show examples
conserve electricity and use public transport in
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Similarly
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, private
companies
Use synonyms
can adopt us. Sustainable manufacturing method minimising the industrial waste. In recent years, multinational
companies
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have shifted towards packaging and carbon production
due to
Linking Words
environment
Replace the word
environmental
awareness.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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the
government
Use synonyms
should take the leading responsibility because of their power and individual and
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
should
also
Linking Words
must
Verb problem
apply
show examples
actively participate
environmental
Change preposition
in environmental
show examples
productive efforts from section of
each
Correct determiner usage
apply
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society,
create
Wrong verb form
creating
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a
clear
Punctuation problem
clear,
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sustainable future

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each part.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way.
task achievement
Add one more clear example to support your view.
task achievement
Explain your opinion more directly from the start.
coherence cohesion
Check grammar and word form because some lines are hard to understand.
task achievement
You answered both sides of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You used one real world example about plastic bags.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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