IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your friend is celebrating her Birthday soon and has invited you to a party. But you are unable to come because you are going to attend an important meeting that day. Write a letter to your friend and * thank her for the invitation; * explain why you cannot come; * propose to meet on other day; You do NOT need to write your own address. Begin your letter as follows:

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Dear Aish, I am so excited for you to turn
twenty three
Correct your spelling
twenty-three
. We've been together since sixth grade
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I have celebrated your
birthday
Use synonyms
 every year with you . But , I am very disappointed to tell you that I cannot come
this
Linking Words
 time because I have a very important meeting to attend . So I've been trying to get a meeting with the CEO of Glossier
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 skincare brand
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I
finally
Linking Words
 got to meet up with her
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it happened to be on your
birthday
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 could not say no. I really want to come and see you
but
Correct word choice
apply
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,
I
Correct word choice
but I
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am afraid it will be a week later . I already sent you a bouquet of your favourite coloured lilies
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 will arrive on the morning of your
birthday
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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about
Change preposition
apply
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your
birthday
Use synonyms
 present
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will get it when we see each other. Let me know what day works
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
best for you
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 we can plan
accordingly
Linking Words
 .Have a blast on you
birthday
Use synonyms
 party. Your best friend Anmoldeep

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task response
For task response: You answer all parts, but add a bit more about the new day to meet.
task response
For task response: Keep the tone warm and a little more polite all through the letter.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are clear, but split them into clear parts to make it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Check small link words and full stops, so each line flows well.
task response
For task response: You thank your friend and clearly say why you cannot come.
task response
For task response: You suggest meeting on another day, so the main points are covered.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The greeting and closing fit a letter to a close friend.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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