IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that the government should spend more money on public services rather than wasting it on arts. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
As everything else in
life
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life,
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people
Use synonyms
 agree to disagree
, some
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. Some
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people
Use synonyms
 think that the government should spend more money on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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essential services rather than spending it on art and entertainment
Body · 1
I'm in between, I agree that the most important services should always come
first,
Linking Words
no one will
loose
Use the right word
lose
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 their life if they didn't get to see some iconic painting from the 18th century in a sophisticated museum, but they will most definitely if they didn't get an ambulance
at
Change preposition
in
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 time.
Body · 2
But that's not to say that arts and crafts aren't important
,
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;
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 they definitely are! and more than what most
people
Use synonyms
 think
actually
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, actually
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.
the entertaiment industy
Correct your spelling
The entertainment industry
 alone
generate
Correct subject-verb agreement
generates
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 a lot of money that can go for public services
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 example, to the point that some countries are mostly funded by tourism alone
which
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, which
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rely
Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
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 heavily on arts and
easthetics
Correct your spelling
aesthetics
!
Conclusion
So like everything else in life,
people
Use synonyms
 will disagree
, i'm
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. I'm
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 attracted to the idea of
prioritizing
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prioritising
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 what's essential
first,
Linking Words
but
this
Linking Words
in
Verb problem
is
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 not an absolute statement
, of course
Correct word order
. Of course,
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 we need to take the opinions of the
people
Use synonyms
 who studied economics to evaluate the situation and decide what we need to do next.

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task response
Give a more clear answer at the start. Say if you mostly agree, mostly disagree, or partly agree.
coherence and cohesion
Add one clear main idea in each body part, then explain it more.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words like first, also, however, and in the end.
task response
Give one or two clear examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Write a stronger last part that repeats your main view in a clear way.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic, so your essay feels balanced.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow in most parts.
task response
You use a real-life example about ambulances and tourism.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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