IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

33.The chart below shows the number of international applicants from four countries that a Europena university had from 2004 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The bar chart
compare
Correct subject-verb agreement
compares
show examples
 the
proprotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of international students at the
Europena
Correct your spelling
European
 university from four different nations during peroid a
year
Use synonyms
 of 2004
and a
Change preposition
to
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 of 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
of the
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population are two states
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are China and America. Alongside
this
Linking Words
 information
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 number of schooling attendant between one thousand
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 two thousand eight hundred.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two countries
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are Japan and Russia among 100 to 800 students.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in a
year
Use synonyms
 of 2004 student from China is highest and droped 2100 over just one
year
Use synonyms
 period
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, slightly decrease from 2005 and
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 to 1500
attendant
Fix the agreement mistake
attendants
show examples
 in 2008.
By contrast
Linking Words
, American students
are fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 and dramatically
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 up to 2800 attendants in 2008.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest schoolchild
which
Correct pronoun usage
, who
show examples
 is from
Russia
Punctuation problem
Russia,
show examples
is raising up
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 extremely to 800 from 100 in a
year
Use synonyms
 of 2007 and
estremely
Correct your spelling
extremely
 decreased to 400 in 2008.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
Japanese
Check wording
the number of Japanese
show examples
 student is steadily rose up in every
year
Use synonyms
 and
reach up to
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 1000
attendants
Check wording
apply
show examples
in 2008.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • trend
  • comparison
  • applicant numbers
  • peak years
  • growth
  • decline
  • pattern
  • influence
  • factors
  • diplomatic relationships
  • economic conditions
  • demand
  • convergence
  • divergence
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