IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
The table
given an
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
 information about the
ciitizen
Correct your spelling
citizens
 of
Newzeland
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
 from 2011
t0
Correct your spelling
to
 2012
period time
Check wording
apply
show examples
. It
shown
Verb problem
is shown
show examples
 by five diffent
group
Use synonyms
 of
age
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the
age
Use synonyms
 of 65
up
Correct word choice
and up
show examples
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 has
been
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
changed
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 4 per
cent
Use synonyms
. What is more club of the
age
Use synonyms
 between 40-60 increased 0.6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 0.2 per
cent
Use synonyms
 have been decrease in two
gruops
Correct your spelling
groups
 among 15-39,and a
group
Use synonyms
 of under 15.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all ages are changing 0.6 per
cent
Use synonyms
in during 1 year
Change preposition
over a 1-year
show examples
 period
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
. First of all, from the table it can be seen that. All ages
group
Use synonyms
 have
4.4 million populations
Correct word order
a population of 4.4 million
show examples
 and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 changed
0.6
Change preposition
by 0.6
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the gang of 40-60 have 1.5 million citizen
also
Linking Words
 changed 0.6 per
cent
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
as well as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the club of 65 plus changed dramatically 4 per
cent
Use synonyms
 alongside
this
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the gang of 15-39 year
old
Check wording
olds
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 there are 1.5 million
resedences
Correct your spelling
residents
 but it
droped dwon
Correct your spelling
dropped down
 0.2 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that,
under
Correct determiner usage
those under
show examples
 15 years old of
age
Use synonyms
 seem
like
Verb problem
to be
show examples
 less than
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
group
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it has changed
0.2
Change preposition
by 0.2
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
subsequently
Linking Words
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words group, age, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: