IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

We can learn everything about the past from the drama in films and on television. Therefore, we no longer need to read historical books. To what extend do you agree or disagree about this statement?

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We can learn everything about the past from the drama in films and on television.
Therefore
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, we no longer need to read historical
books
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. To what
extend
Use the right word
extent
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 do you agree or disagree
about
Change preposition
with
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this
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 statement?
People
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 believe that they can learn everything about
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
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 just watching
movies
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. So they don’t need to read
books
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 anymore. Yes, there are a lot of historical
movies
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 which are
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 choise for just meet with historical
evets
Correct your spelling
events
. But it doesn’t mean we don’t need
books
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. On the one hand, we have a lot of historical
movies
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 in the
Televesion
Correct your spelling
television
 sector.
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This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
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movies
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 have perfect acting, action
sences
Correct your spelling
scenes
 which is attracts
people
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.
However
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,
books
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 can’t illustrate
this
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 kind of
sequences
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sequence
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.
Moreover
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, one episode of
this
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 kind of
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movies
Fix the agreement mistake
movie
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 takes just 40 minutes, which is perfect for
Correct pronoun usage
those
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who
haven’t
Correct word order
don’t have
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 patience or
time
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 for reading. So
people
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 watch
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they learn
initials
Use the right word
information
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 about historical
events
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just
Rephrase
apply
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in 40 minutes period.
On the other hand
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, we know the productions have some limits.
For example
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-
Punctuation problem
,
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 the
time
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. TV series or
movies
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 have limited
times
Check wording
time
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 to
shows
Wrong verb form
show
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 historical
events
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, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
they need to
past
Verb problem
focus on
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 some
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
.
However
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,
books
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writed
Wrong verb form
written
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 with all details. Futuremove, creators
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 movie companies have some
priliminary
Correct your spelling
preliminary
 goals,
instead
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 of showing all real
evets
Correct your spelling
events
.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 they need to gain
money
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. So they need to attract
people
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. Which means
movies
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 prefer just showing
high praice
Correct your spelling
high-priced
 actions and war
sences
Correct your spelling
scenes
instead
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 of showing how leaders or
imperators
Correct your spelling
emperors
 make hard decisions in history. They just
focus
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actions
Change preposition
on actions
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. In conclusion,
tv
Fix capitalization
TV
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 series or
movies
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 are
the
Correct article usage
a
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 good
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 for learning historical
events
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, especially for
short
Correct article usage
a short
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time
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 period. But if someone wants to dive deepers about these
events
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, they still need historical
books
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. Some
people
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 think that planning for the
future
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 is a waste of
time
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. They believe it is more important to
focus
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 on the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People
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 believe that taking
time
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 for planning
future
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 is just wasting
time
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. So they prefer to live in the moment and do not worry too much about
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future
Correct article usage
the future
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. I think living in the present is important, because when individuals
focus
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 too much on
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future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
, they cannot enjoy today
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they may feel disappointed later.
However
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,
people
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 still need to plan for
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future
Correct article usage
the future
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 because without planning,
tomorrow
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 can become chaos. First of all, one of the main reasons for living in the present is
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 lifetime. We cannot meet everyone
tomorrow
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 that we can meet today.
Also
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, when
people
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 only
focus
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 on
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future
Correct article usage
the future
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, they waste today’s opportunities. The world is changing rapidly, and we cannot experience
this
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 version of the world again.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should spend their
time
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,
money
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, and effort on today’s reality. They should spend
time
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 with their family and friends.
In addition
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, travelling is a great option because
tomorrow
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 may not be the same as today.
On the other hand
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, living without any plan can cause serious problems.
For example
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, spending
money
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 without thinking about
tomorrow
Use synonyms
 may end with financial difficulties
at the end
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 of the month. Because of
this
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,
people
Use synonyms
 need to save
money
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 and make investments for
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future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
. Planning is especially important for young generations because they are at the beginning of their life journey.
For instance
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, they need to build their own place in society and create a successful
future
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 for themselves. In conclusion, living in the present is necessary for enjoying life and building strong relationships with
people
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 around us.
However
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, planning for the
future
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 is
also
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 important because it helps individuals avoid problems and achieve their long-term goals.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly from the start. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Add one or two more clear examples to support each main idea.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more, so the reader can see why your point is true.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and because.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea only.
task response
You answer both essay questions and give your opinion in each one.
coherence and cohesion
Your essays have clear intro, body, and conclusion parts.
task response
You use examples like money, travel, and films to support ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • history
  • films
  • television
  • drama
  • learn
  • read
  • books
  • past
  • understand
  • events
  • story
  • life
  • young
  • audience
  • interest
  • view
  • visual
  • act
  • setting
  • entertainment
  • understanding
  • fact
  • analysis
  • perspective
  • time
  • accurate
  • characters
  • choose
  • engage
  • accuracies
  • creative
  • depict
  • represent
  • liberties
  • importance
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