IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people today think that homework is still an important part of school while others think that it is becoming outdated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
There is an ongoing debates wheather
homework
Use synonyms
 is still an important task in
school
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 others believe that it is no longer an important
part
Use synonyms
 of
school
Use synonyms
, I think it is an essential task to do in
school
Use synonyms
 because it teaches
students
Use synonyms
 many
skills
Use synonyms
 and helps them to understand lesson concepts.
Body · 1
On the one hand, some people think
homework
Use synonyms
 is not a crucial
part
Use synonyms
 of
school
Use synonyms
. After
school
Use synonyms
,
Students
Use synonyms
 often do not have the
time
Use synonyms
 for
school
Use synonyms
-related tasks.
For example
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
 attend dancing and cooking classes, and once they reach home, they do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to do their
homework
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Other pupils need to focus only on their current courses, and they do not need an additional burden task like
homework
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, High
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 must concentrate more on their exam grades than on doing
homework
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because they need to have good grades in order to get into a good college in the future.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
homework
Use synonyms
 is still an important
part
Use synonyms
 of
school
Use synonyms
 and teaches
students
Use synonyms
 many
skills
Use synonyms
. Take,
for example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 learn how to be more responsible when doing their
homework
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it teaches them how to
put
Verb problem
prioritise
show examples
 tasks
according to
Linking Words
 the level of importance, and teaches
time
Use synonyms
 management
skills
Use synonyms
.
Homework
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 helps
students
Use synonyms
 to understand the lesson concept after the class.
In other words
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 will write and watch videos about today's lesson
homework
Use synonyms
, so it clears
some
Verb problem
up some
show examples
 confusion that the
students
Use synonyms
 have. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, and
that is
Linking Words
 because it teaches real-life
skills
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
time
Use synonyms
 management, which I think is important when finding future jobs.
Body · 3
In conclusion, there are some people who believe that
homework
Use synonyms
 is not important,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 think
otherwise
Linking Words
.
Conclusion
I believe that
school
Use synonyms
homework
Use synonyms
 are curial
part
Use synonyms
 of
school
Use synonyms
 because it teaches them
skills
Use synonyms
, and helps them to understand the lessons easily.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer all parts of the task more fully. You discuss both views and give your opinion, but the end is too short.
task response
Make your opinion clear in the same way from start to end. This helps the reader follow your main idea.
task response
Give more direct and real examples. Some examples are a bit general.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'as a result' in a careful way.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. A few sentences feel repeated or not fully connected.
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are easy to follow, and the order is logical.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: