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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.

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The given bar chart illustrates the comparison of teachers in
Nursery
Use synonyms
/Pre-
school
Use synonyms
, Primary
school
Use synonyms
, Secondary
school
Use synonyms
, College, Private training institute and University, broken down by gender in the UK in the year 2010. It is clear from the chart that the proportion of female teachers in
Nursery
Use synonyms
/Pre-
school
Use synonyms
 and Primary
school
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 higher than
of
Correct pronoun usage
that of
show examples
 the male ones, but in the other three groups
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 opposite. In
Nursery
Use synonyms
/Pre-
school
Use synonyms
 and Primary, the amounts of female educators, which were the two highest spots of the shown survey, were around 90% to 95% in 2010.
While
Linking Words
 women in
this
Linking Words
 setting in Secondary
school
Use synonyms
, College and Private training institute still in the middle, with approximately 43% to 53%, in university, it was just nearly
one-thirds
Replace the word
one-third
 of all teachers in
this
Linking Words
 type. When it comes to
male
Check wording
males
show examples
, around 70% of educators decided to work in
University
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
, which is the most popular choice for people of
this
Linking Words
 gender.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the rate of men in education seemed uncommon in
Nursery
Use synonyms
/Pre-
school
Use synonyms
 and Primary
school
Use synonyms
, with only about 5% and 9% respectively. Meanwhile, the
last
Linking Words
 three types had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quite
averageable
Correct word choice
average
show examples
 percentages of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 in teaching, with close to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of all educators.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words nursery, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational settings
  • percentage
  • representation
  • disparities
  • predominance
  • gender imbalance
  • societal expectations
  • historical roles
  • implications
  • trends
  • gender gap
  • educational outcomes
  • gender stereotypes
  • policies
  • initiatives
  • perceptions
  • effectiveness
  • primary school
  • secondary school
  • nursery
  • university
  • further education
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