In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, many small local
shops
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are closing as more and more people tend to
do shopping
Wrong verb form
shop
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from large shopping
centers
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centres
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and
malls
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. In my opinion, it is
an
Correct article usage
a
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negative development because it increases unemployment
and
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, and
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some customers may still wish to buy from local markets. As the trend of buying from large shopping
malls
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is increasing day by day, local shopkeepers are facing losses in their business and end up closing their
shops
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.
Consequently
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, people working in these
shops
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lose their
job
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jobs
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and a way to make an earning.
Furthermore
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, an increase in unemployment may eventually affect the
overall
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development of a country.
For example
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, developing countries like Pakistan, which already has increasing poverty rate, can be negatively affected by
closure
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the closure
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of local businesses.
Secondly
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, not every customer can afford to
shop
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from expensive brands in the shopping
malls
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. Some customers who wish to save money and buy items from local markets.
However
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, they may find limited options to
shop
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from
due to
Linking Words
the closure of many local stores. Eventually, they have to go to the shopping
malls
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to make a purchase.
For instance
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, many local
shops
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have budget-friendly items but less variety
due to
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fewer
shops
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Linking Words
while
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, while
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shopping
malls
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offer different brands under one roof.
This
Linking Words
is
further
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affecting the remaining local
shop
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owners. To sum it up, shopping
malls
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have negatively affected the
bussinesses
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businesses
of local
shop
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owners. It is creating unemployment and economic growth
of
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in
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developing countries.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should
do
Verb problem
make
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efforts to support local
shop
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owners and limit the construction of shopping
malls
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.

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task response
For task response: Your answer is clear, and you give a clear negative view. But some ideas need more detail. Try to explain more how malls hurt small shops and why this is bad for all people.
task response
For task response: Your examples are relevant, but they are a bit general. Try to add one more clear and real example to support each main point.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. This is good. But some sentences are not complete, and some links between ideas are weak. Use simple linking words like 'First', 'Also', 'As a result', and 'In the end' in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Make sure each paragraph has one main idea only. Then add two or three sentences to support that idea well.
task response
For task response: You answer the question and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
For task response: You include two main reasons, which helps your answer feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear paragraph plan with an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: You use some linking words such as 'Consequently', 'Furthermore', and 'Secondly'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail outlets
  • consumer behavior
  • shop locally
  • convenience
  • variety
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • community
  • personal touch
  • small businesses
  • local economy
  • big corporations
  • dependence
  • shopping habits
  • urbanization
  • globalization
  • competition
What to do next:
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