IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In their advertising,
businesses
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 nowadays sometimes stress that their
products
Use synonyms
 are new in some way. From my point of view, some
businesses
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 want to have good
products
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 to give to the people, but usually they worry
about
Correct word choice
that
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 their
products
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 are newer than
some other’s
Correct word order
those of other
show examples
businesses
Use synonyms
Check wording
apply
show examples
products
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.
In
Correct pronoun usage
I
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 think it is a negative development, because when
businesses
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 stress about the quality of their
products
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, sometimes they do something wrong
while
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 they are producing them. It is good when the
businesses
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 take care of and look after their
products
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 with a limit.
According to
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 some experts, when you take a lot of care of something, you will probably do some things
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 about it
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 wrong. From my own experience, I was trying to make three school projects, which my teachers asked me to do, and despite my hard work and because I was stressed about the projects I had to do, I
finally
Linking Words
 failed because I had made a lot of mistakes.
To sum up
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,
businesses
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 nowadays should not stress about their
products
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 being new in some way.
Besides
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that
Add a comma
that,
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 they should calm down and be careful
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 what they are producing.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: why ads say a product is new, and why this is good or bad.
task response
Give one or two clear reasons for why businesses do this, like to get attention or to sell more.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea easy to follow. Put one main point in each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like First, Also, For example, and In sum.
task response
Your school project example is clear, but it does not fully match business ads. Give an example about shops, phones, food, or clothes.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with a short explanation and one fitting example.
task response
You gave a clear opinion that this is a negative development.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
You tried to use an example from your own life to support your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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