IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
this
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 day and age, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 try to discover various destinations and diverse types of food,
while
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 others are likely
tocontinue
Correct your spelling
to continue
 doing something
that is
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 familiar to them. In my point of view, I advocate for the latter statement
and
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, and
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this
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 essay will
discusstwo
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discuss two
 aspects of
this
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 problem. First and foremost, travelling to many
new
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new,
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 refreshing places might help
people
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 change the boring atmosphere that they need to witness every day
or
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, or
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 some
people
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 yearn to taste a bunch of different cuisines all over the world.Even though change can bring a wide range of benefits to humans
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such
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, such
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 as new knowledge
,
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apply
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 and new
experience
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experiences
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, it
also
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 involves some shortcomings.The adaptations and the embarrassment of the new life might be the pivotal causes that hinder
people
Use synonyms
 from stepping out of their comfort zones.
For example
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, it takes time to pick up a new hobby or a new food.
In addition
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, first time going visitors have to struggle with making acquaintances with strangers.
Secondly
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, choosing to carry out the ongoing familiar tasks helps everyone become stably developed.Not only did a person have momentum
on the way of
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in
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 solving
a
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apply
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daily basic work
but
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apply
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,
he
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but he
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also
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was also
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is
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apply
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able to save time to learn new things
again
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apply
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, which led to sustainable growth.
Compare
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Compared
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 to
the
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their
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 more adventurous
counterpart
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counterparts
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, they seem more likely to change consistently in order to meet their desire for exploring new areas and new tastes. All in all, staying in an old traditional place could bring a lot of benefits.
However
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, I totally agree with the idea that it is better to make a lot of effort to pursue the things that belong to you.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why some people like new things and why others like old things.
task response
Give your opinion in one clear line and keep it the same from start to end.
task response
Add one real and clear example to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple topic sentences at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, however, for example, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea only.
task response
You wrote about both views, so you answered the full question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body, and end.
task response
You tried to use examples and reasons to explain your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Novelty
  • Routine
  • Comfort zone
  • Risk-taker
  • Risk-averse
  • Enrichment
  • Personal growth
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Stability
  • Tradition
  • Habit
  • Familiarity
  • Personal enrichment
  • Life stages
  • Fulfilling
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