IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

QUESTION: Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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A
language
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 is not just words to form sentences,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it's
show examples
 more than that,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it's
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 a set of words mixed with emotions and expressions! its indeed important for communication and to exchange information. Some
people
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cliams
Correct your spelling
claim
 that
disapearing
Replace the word
the disappearance
 of
languages
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 is not important as it will be easier to have
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
languages
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. I disagreed with the statements, in my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
show examples
 it is
heart breaking
Correct your spelling
heartbreaking
 to see some
languages
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 disappear
through out the
Correct your spelling
throughout
 time, as I believe that
languages
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 are part of cultures and social attributes of
people
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, when a
language
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 die alots die with it, culture will no longer inherted to the next generations
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 so
this
Linking Words
 will produce
people
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 without a solid ground.
For Example
Linking Words
 in
Sudan
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Sudan,
show examples
 we have more than 400 local
languages
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, and each group is quite proud of their culture
, the
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. The
show examples
 different tribes communicate with each other
with
Change preposition
in
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 the main
Languages
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 spoken in Sudan (Arabic), whenever aperson change to his/her local
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language
Punctuation problem
language,
show examples
 you can see how the personality change how the paustures change. Another example
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 old egyptian
language
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 has died, fortunately they depended heavily on
drowings
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drawings
 and icons
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 made it easier for researchers to find all of
this
Linking Words
heretage
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heritage
 and history, and were able to tell stories and to pass all of
this
Linking Words
inofrmations
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information
 to us today.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 old
people
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 will
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
still
speaking
Wrong verb form
speak
show examples
 the old
languages
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 young
people
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wont
Correct your spelling
won't
 be able to communicate with the elders
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can affect how
the experience
Check wording
experiences
show examples
, Strories and wisdom
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 passed from one generation to the other. In my point of View
languages
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 hold so much emotions, history, culture and geography in
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them,
show examples
 and when
alangugae
Correct your spelling
a language
 dies alot dies with it, and the new generations will miss
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of knowledge and will be rootless
, it
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
 is important to
speread
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spread
 the
konwledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about the dying
languages
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Write a clearer answer to the question in the first paragraph. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea the topic of one full paragraph.
task response
Explain your examples more. Show how each example proves your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like First, Also, For example, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some ideas are strong, but they need smoother flow.
task response
Develop the point about old and young people more clearly.
task response
You answered the topic and gave a clear opinion.
task response
You used real examples from Sudan and ancient Egypt.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a beginning, body, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your main message is easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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