IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Transport
Use synonyms
 has been one of the most important
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 for
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
last
Linking Words
Two centuires
Correct your spelling
two centuries
. The
problem
Use synonyms
 began with the development and
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 growing of the
cities
Use synonyms
. Before the eighth
century
Add a comma
century,
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 lived in small villages or
Tows
Correct your spelling
towns
 and did not have
necessity
Correct article usage
the necessity
show examples
To
Fix capitalization
to
show examples
 go
Too
Fix capitalization
too
show examples
 far. The
people
Use synonyms
 did not worry about
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 time to arrive
in some where
Correct your spelling
somewhere
. Nowadays The situation
changed
Verb problem
has changed
show examples
.
many
Capitalize the word
Many
show examples
 cars
on
Verb problem
are on
show examples
 the streets
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 need
To
Fix capitalization
to
show examples
 go
To
Fix capitalization
to
show examples
 any place. The
numbers
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
car
Check wording
cars
show examples
 has increased
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 there are many
problemes
Correct your spelling
problems
: pollution, noise,
car
Use synonyms
accident
Check wording
accidents
show examples
,
insuffinent
Correct your spelling
insufficient
car
Use synonyms
 park and petroleum
Use synonyms
problem
Check wording
problems
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 use
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 to go anywhere:
To
Fix capitalization
to
show examples
 work,
To
Fix capitalization
to
show examples
 travel, To spent hohday and
To
Change preposition
for
show examples
 amusement. meanwhile The
car
Use synonyms
 is
important
Punctuation problem
important,
show examples
 the
cities
Use synonyms
 must have another solution. It is important
To
Fix capitalization
to
show examples
 organise its
using
Replace the word
use
 and
To
Fix capitalization
to
show examples
 meet alternative ways. In big
cities
Use synonyms
 there are some alternatives like
undergrounds
Check wording
underground
show examples
 (metro), coach, train and
bycicles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
. In China and Cuba
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example They use a lot of bycicles for substituting the cars or coaches. It would be better To Think about others differents kinds of
transport
Use synonyms
. In Brasil the Government has talked about
transport
Use synonyms
 on
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 rivers. In
this
Linking Words
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 there are many rivers where it is possible
To
Fix capitalization
to
show examples
 go
To
Fix capitalization
to
show examples
 different places. In
general
Add a comma
general,
show examples
 they are flat rivers. Another kind of
Transport
Use synonyms
 is
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 that uses solar energy. Probably they don't have
pollution
Correct article usage
a pollution
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is cheaper than others
car
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
 is a social
problem
Use synonyms
 in big
cities
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 its solution
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on new Technologies, others kind of energy and political aspects.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Say your main view more clearly in the first part. Tell the reader if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Add more direct ideas about international laws and control of car use. This part of the task is only partly answered.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each part, then add one example to support it.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a clearer order. For example: problem, why cars are needed, other ways, your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Use easy linking words well, like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects well to the next one. Some ideas change too fast.
task response
You talk about real transport problems like pollution, noise, and accidents.
task response
You give examples from different countries, which helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic order in your writing, so the reader can follow most ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance on
  • regulate
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • public health
  • sustainable development
  • alternative forms of transport
  • car ownership
  • balancing benefits and drawbacks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: