IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowdays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?

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It has been observed that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 many
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 prefer to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 an own bussiness
then
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
 in
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 or organisation.
Althrough i complately
Correct your spelling
Although I completely
 disagree with that and
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 like to
work
Use synonyms
 with
Use synonyms
team
Correct article usage
a team
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 is because the leader has control in the
work
Use synonyms
 group. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 as
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 is
organisate
Correct your spelling
organised
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
 easy will analysis both advantages and disadvantages for the topic.
one of
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
show examples
,
self employed
Wrong verb form
being self-employed
show examples
 is
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
choose
Replace the word
choice
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who like
Use synonyms
work
Verb problem
to work
show examples
 from home and
filiexable
Correct your spelling
flexible
 time.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 example, the artist or digital creative
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the best as
self employed
Correct your spelling
self-employed
, because they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 need
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lot
members
Change preposition
of members
show examples
.
in additional
Correct your spelling
In addition
,
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 alone
it help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to improve time
managment
Correct your spelling
management
 and learn
unlimate
Correct your spelling
ultimate
skills
Use synonyms
 for manage his bussiness.
skills
Use synonyms
 example, the photograph should
editing
Verb problem
have editing
show examples
skill
Check wording
skills
show examples
, create video
skills
Use synonyms
, marketing and manage account in instagram.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 contrast,
work
Use synonyms
 on company is
collabrate
Correct your spelling
collaborative
 with the
team
Use synonyms
 because its big
instituation
Correct your spelling
institution
, so need different
experiance
Correct your spelling
experiences
 and
skills
Use synonyms
. in additional, it is important to
divided
Wrong verb form
divide
show examples
 tasks
with
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all members.
Linking Words
hence
Fix capitalization
Hence
show examples
, every member has
appropriate
Correct article usage
an appropriate
show examples
 task
as his
Fix the agreement mistake
according to their
show examples
 ability.
there are
Correct subject-verb agreement
There is
show examples
 no denying
to
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fact,
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 can't force the callenages alone and
same
Change preposition
at the same
show examples
 time
continous develope
Correct your spelling
continuously develop
 the
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
.
Linking Words
also
Fix capitalization
Also
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 are
flucauated
Replace the word
fluctuating
 mood and energy.
Linking Words
subsequently
Fix capitalization
Subsequently
show examples
, the
work
Use synonyms
 will
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 and up and down the income
.
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 because
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
all
people
Use synonyms
 need
Use synonyms
team
Correct article usage
a team
show examples
.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 example,
Use synonyms
work
Check wording
people who work
show examples
 as engineers or doctors
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need employers group.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 the discussion, it can
said
Verb problem
be said
show examples
 that despite the many
people
Use synonyms
choose
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
 to be self-employed
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 its depend type of
work
Use synonyms
 and
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
person skill
Check wording
person's skills
show examples
.
Linking Words
however
Fix capitalization
However
show examples
,
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 as
Use synonyms
team
Correct article usage
a team
show examples
 is better in many
espect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 of
work
Use synonyms
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
managment
Correct your spelling
management
 and development.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: why people choose this and what bad sides it has.
task response
Give one main idea in each body part, then explain it with a simple example.
task response
Your view changes. Keep one clear position from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraph order: intro, reasons, disadvantages, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. Make shorter sentences with one idea each.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples like artist, photographer, engineer, and doctor.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • freelance
  • gig economy
  • solopreneur
  • unpredictable income
  • work-life balance
  • scalable business
  • economic downturn
  • diverse skill set
  • job satisfaction
  • financial security
  • health insurance
  • retirement plans
  • paid leave
  • isolation
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