IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Since money for postgraduate research is limited, some people think financial support from the government should only be provided for scientific rather than for less useful subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Nowadays, there is a common view that funding by the authorities should be restricted to academic studies of
science
Use synonyms
 and technology. At the same time,
however
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, others believe that investigations of less applied topics
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such
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, such
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 as arts and humanities
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also
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, also
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 deserve support. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will review both sides of the debate to seek a conclusion.
To begin
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 with, there is no doubt that
science
Use synonyms
 drives the national economy, since most modern industries
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such
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, such
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 as robotics and
telecommunications
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telecommunications,
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 are based on high technology.
Moreover
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, the process is cumulative, as when companies turn the results of their
research
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 and development into successful products, the profits fund
further
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 investigations.
Consequently
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, the whole nation benefits from high-tech manufacturing
which
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, which
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 provides jobs and boosts incomes, thereby improving the standard of living.
On the other hand
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,
however
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, arts and humanities should not be excluded from academic investigation, since history, literature and law represent and define the nation.Academic investigation, since history, literature and law represent and define the nation.
Furthermore
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, the evolution of human
civilization
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civilisation
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 has not only been the result of
science
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 but
also
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 of culture,
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therefore
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apply
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all areas of knowledge are equally important.
Hence
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, non-scientific
research
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 is necessary to support the education system in giving children a complete and balanced
fundation
Replace the word
foundation
 regardless of their eventual careers. To
summarize
Change the spelling
summarise
show examples
, there is no doubt that academic
research
Use synonyms
 drives innovation and boosts the economy At the same time,
however
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, a balanced education system should
also
Linking Words
 give due focus to the humanities. In the final analysis,
therefore
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, one can conclude that the authorities should give preferential funding to
science
Use synonyms
research
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,
while
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 retaining a portion to keep cultural studies alive.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. You say you will look at both sides, but your own answer should be easy to see in the first part.
task response
Add one or two real and clear examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain some ideas more. For example, say why arts and history help society in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Check for repeated lines and small mistakes between sentences. One sentence is repeated, and this hurts the flow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Some are good, but a few parts feel too sudden or too close together.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea and then develop it fully before moving on.
task response
You answer the question and give a balanced view with a clear final opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening, body, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are linked in a logical order, so the reader can follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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