Some people belive that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, imroving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that high school programmes should integrate a compulsory curriculum as a voluntary
community
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service work. I strongly agree with
this
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notion as it will help youth to be connected with
the
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apply
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society and enhance their lived experience.
Firstly
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, when a compulsory subject is designed for
students
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to increase their
community
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involvement
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involvement,
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then
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they will connect and understand the
need
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needs
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of their society.
This
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means they engage with members of our society, learn about the real societal issues and feel connected with their roots. Recently, studies have found that if youths are exposed and engaged with their communities, they tend to
cater
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care
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and work towards making the social service better for everyone.
This
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clearly demonstrates that
subject
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the subject
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should be designed to connect
students
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with the real world.
Secondly
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, learning through books can be monotonous for them,
whereas
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going out into the
community
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can break that cycle, which can
also
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enhance their lived experience. Practical learning has been
proved
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proven
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to be effective because it improves their interaction with real people and their circumstances.
For instance
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, in Australia, many high schools take their
students
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to
agedcares
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aged care
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or
community
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centres to ensure that they learn from
a
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apply
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real situations, where they are required to
involve
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be involved
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in charity and social
works
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work
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.
However
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, I personally believe that these hours should be made flexible and tailored to fit into each individual's
need
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needs
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.
To conclude
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, I remain firmly convinced that integrating complusory subject for voluntary works to enhance
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students
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students'
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community
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involvement is significant for all
as
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, as
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this
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will help them feel connected with their roots and practically learn through their lived experience.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task more directly. Say why it should be compulsory, not only why it is useful.
coherence and cohesion
Give one clear main idea in each body paragraph and explain it step by step.
task response
Use examples with more detail, so the reader can see how your idea works in real life.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with some unclear phrases, because they make your meaning less easy to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use a real example about schools in Australia.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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