Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Today, the world is very different from the past. Many
people
Use synonyms
say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a
course
Use synonyms
of
university
Use synonyms
course
Use synonyms
. Others,
however
Linking Words
, claim that it is better to start
work
Use synonyms
after school and gain experience in the world of
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a
Use synonyms
course of
Correct word order
university course
show examples
university
Use synonyms
education.
First,
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
obtain a
university
Use synonyms
degree.
For example
Linking Words
, students who graduate with a
university
Use synonyms
degree
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are more in demand for jobs.
Second,
Linking Words
everyone has enough knowledge.
In addition
Linking Words
, they will have greater awareness and understanding after completing the
course
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, it facilitates the
work
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, workers are better educated.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a lot of jobs are competitive and require a high level of education, which is important in most jobs nowadays.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some
people
Use synonyms
who claim that it is better to start
work
Use synonyms
after school and gain experience in the world of
work
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
it enhances their personal growth.
For instance
Linking Words
, Many workers feel confident and independent after school.
Second,
Linking Words
it helps young students gain new information and skills.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
discover new skills through working at a young age.
Finally
Linking Words
, it develops their ability to solve problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, working helps
people
Use synonyms
learn how to solve problems in different situations. In conclusion, it is clear to see that
people
Use synonyms
have different opinions.
However
Linking Words
, both views are important and beneficial. I believe that
university
Use synonyms
education has a significant impact on career success.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both views, but the ideas are short.
task response
Give clearer reasons for each main point. Some points are too general.
task response
Use more real and specific examples. Your examples now are very simple and repeated.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences do not connect well to the one before.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each paragraph more. Add one clear idea, explain it, then give one example.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion in the end.
task response
Your introduction clearly shows the topic of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a simple and easy-to-follow paragraph structure.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like First, Second, On the one hand, and On the other hand.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • specialized expertise
  • on-the-job training
  • work experience
  • financial independence
  • career growth
  • hands-on experience
  • balanced perspective
  • internships
  • part-time work
  • academic learning
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • personal circumstances
  • financial constraints
  • career goals
  • individual aptitudes
  • well-paying careers
  • satisfying careers
  • specialized training
What to do next:
Look at other essays: