IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The natural resources such as oil, forest, and freshwater are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems doeas it cause? How can we solve these problems?

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It is becoming increasingly
concern
Replace the word
concerning
 about an alarming rate of natural
resources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as oil, forest and freshwater.
This
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
 will
further
Linking Words
 disscuss what the causes and how
can we
Correct word order
we can
show examples
 address
thses
Correct your spelling
these
 problems. On the one hand, there are several problems
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
make the natural
resources
Use synonyms
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
. One of the key
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is that overdevelopment, when people
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 a new city, which lost many natral land and forest.
Also
Linking Words
, when the factories come up, it brings a lot
pollution
Change preposition
of pollution
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as water and air pollution. Another
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
 is War,
solider
Correct subject-verb agreement
soldiers
show examples
 use weapon including bomb to
filght
Correct your spelling
fight
 the
oppsite contry
Correct your spelling
opposite country
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the natral resorces use limited, like oil and
gass
Correct your spelling
gas
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
resently
Correct your spelling
recently
, oil and gass price has getting higher in the world
due to
Linking Words
 the Israel- Palestine war.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, tracking these problems
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 several ways. The main way is
that education
Replace the word
to educate
 people to protect our natural
resources
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in school,
teacher
Check wording
teachers
show examples
 can teach students
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about how
can we
Wrong verb form
to
show examples
 save the natral
resources
Use synonyms
 or do it by entertainment, like
Diseney
Correct your spelling
Disney
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
we
Fix capitalization
We
show examples
 can learn
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 from some stories. Another way is that the government make a policy to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental
sustaince
Correct your spelling
sustainability
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Taiwan, the government make a policy about distinguge trash, people
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 it recycled, which can avoid waste. In conclusion, the alarming rate of natural
resources
Use synonyms
 has
became
Verb problem
apply
show examples
risen, the reason because overdevelopment and war
happened
Verb problem
apply
show examples
,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
which is why
show examples
 education and the government
make a policy should
Correct word order
should make policies to
show examples
 address these issues.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You talk about problems and ways, but some ideas are too short.
task response
Write the problems clearly. Focus on effects of resource loss, not only causes like war and building.
task response
Add one clear example for each main idea. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: introduction, problems, solutions, conclusion. Your essay has this, but some parts are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, next, because, so, and finally.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea. Some sentences jump too fast to a new point.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
You give real world examples like war and recycling in Taiwan.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing to separate main parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • depletion
  • sustainability
  • conservation
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • environmental degradation
  • resource management
  • renewable resources
  • water scarcity
  • deforestation
  • economic instability
  • social inequality
  • pollution
  • habitat loss
What to do next:
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