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Writing Samples
Band 3

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should paren ts and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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An individual's core personality and
behavioral
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behavioural
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 traits are forged during early childhood;
consequently
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, correcting misconduct and taming a child's temper are just as vital to their development as meeting their basic physical needs for food and shelter. Admitively I
belief
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believe
 that punitive measures are required to correct misbehaviour
,
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;
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Linking Words
however
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however,
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 many factors should be incount like the age of the child. In
this
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 essay, I will be discussing what is allowed and what factors should be considered.
Firstly
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, as all legel authorties
states
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states,
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 punishment shouldn't be physical
by
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in
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 any way of the ways for any age.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
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 researchers found out that children under 3 years old are not able to recognise punishment. That being said, these
meausres
Correct your spelling
measures
 could be either by negative punishment, which involves removing a privilege, activity, or desired item. Or by timeout
which
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, which
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involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
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 putting the child in
place
Correct article usage
a place
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 where he is not allowed to move or to interact with anybody.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, extensive research indicates that positive reinforcement,
such
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 as rewarding exemplary
behavior
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behaviour
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, is profoundly effective in parenting, as children are highly motivated to replicate actions that yield recognition. In conclusion, both punitive measures and positive reinforcement are highly effective tools for
behavioral
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behavioural
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 modification. Parents and guardians must learn to employ these strategies interchangeably, as the success of each method is entirely dependent upon the child’s unique age and personality.

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task response
Task response: Answer both parts more fully. You give your view and name some ways to punish, but your idea about how far you agree needs to be clearer all through the essay.
task response
Task response: Add one or two clear examples. For example, say what kind of bad behavior may lead to time-out, or how taking away screen time can help a child learn.
task response
Task response: Explain your main ideas more. You say age is important, but you should show how punishment changes for a very young child and for an older child.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape, but make each body paragraph focus on one main idea only.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking words more carefully. Some parts jump fast from one idea to another. Simple links like 'for example', 'because', 'however', and 'as a result' can help.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are hard to follow because the wording is not clear. Try shorter sentences and a simpler order of ideas.
task response
Task response: You answer both questions in the task, and you give a clear opinion that punishment can be needed.
task response
Task response: You include more than one method, such as taking away a thing and time-out, so your ideas are relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, and this helps the reader follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Paragraphing is used, and the contrast between punishment and reward is easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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