IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Developing countries should be encouraged to implement high tariffs to grow their local industries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is frequently debated whether the governments of developing nations should increase taxes in order to save their local industries or if they
treat
Verb problem
should treat
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 both imported
products
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 and locally manufactured
products
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 in the same manner. I completely support the stance that authorities should
subsidize
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subsidise
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 the locally manufactured
goods
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 for growth,
instead
Linking Words
 of levying extra
duties
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 on the
alien
Correct word choice
imported
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goods
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. The primary justification for
prioritizing
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prioritising
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subsidies
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into the
Change preposition
for
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 locally manufactured
products
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 is to create a global economic possibility for the manufacturers and entrepreneurs. By providing an adequate amount of
subsidies
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, the government can help businesses to flourish.
Conversely
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, if authorities differentiate
goods
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through
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by
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 adding tariffs to the imported
goods
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, there is likely a high probability of losing international markets.
For instance
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, if developing
countries
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 like Bangladesh and Nepal impose higher tariffs on
products
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 imported from the United Kingdom, the latter country can impose the same extra taxes or even higher to save its local market.
Therefore
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,
subsidies
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 remained the best option for
countries
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 to enhance their local industries' growth. Building upon
this
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 argument, a
further
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 competing justification for maintaining the stance involves
risk
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the risk
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 of losing investment from developed
countries
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 or giant businesses,
such
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 as Amazon,
Paypal
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PayPal
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,
Microsoft
Correct word choice
and Microsoft
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. International businesses need equal treatment for both
products
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 relating to
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 of origin or any other nation.
However
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, if treated unequally and imposed extra
duties
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, ultimately, international business owners will lose interest in doing
further
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 business. If all imported
products
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 have to face extra
duties
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, the price will be higher compared to locally made
products
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, and the investors and business owners will face losses. Ultimately,
this
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 will lead to less or no investment from developed
countries
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. In conclusion, after thoroughly evaluating both dimensions of
this
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 complex issue, it is evident that to encourage
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of local industries,
subsidy
Correct article usage
a subsidy
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 is the only alternative.
To sum up
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, the
long term
Correct your spelling
long-term
 economic benefits of providing
subsidies
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 remain far superior
than
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to
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 levying additional
duties
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.

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task response
Answer the main question more directly. The task is about high tariffs, but your essay changes the focus to subsidies.
task response
Show degree clearly from the start, such as full agreement, part agreement, or disagreement, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Add one short idea about why some people support tariffs, then explain why you do not agree. This makes the response more complete.
task response
Use examples that fit the exact point more closely. Your country example is possible, but it needs a clearer link to local industry growth.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion, which is good. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is good, but a few lines are hard to follow because the ideas move from tariffs to subsidies too fast. Make each paragraph stay on one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler topic sentences. This will make the main idea of each paragraph easy to see.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and heavy. Break them into two shorter sentences for better flow.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
You include an example with real countries, which helps support your view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and a full conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like 'for instance', 'however', and 'therefore' to connect ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tariffs
  • local industries
  • foreign competition
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • domestic demand
  • retaliate
  • trade wars
  • consumer choice
  • imported goods
  • foreign investment
  • technology transfer
  • protectionism
  • nascent businesses
  • sustaining businesses
  • national pride
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