Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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To begin

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with, some people said that schools are too competitive for chidren that has

the

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show examples

drawback.

However

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good

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a good

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competitive

environment

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can

encourages

Wrong verb form

encourage

show examples

children

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to be

motivited

Correct your spelling

motivated

Therefore

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, if

children

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can be

motivited

Correct your spelling

motivated

to do the challenge, it can help them improve themselve

such

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face

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the

pressure

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. The challenging

environment

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can

give

Verb problem

help

show examples

children

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Verb problem

learn

show examples

study

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how to

face

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stress and how to be

success

Replace the word

successful

. It is because the

environment

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can impact the

student

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's mind.

For example

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, if the

student

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always

stay

Correct subject-verb agreement

stays

show examples

in the comfort zone, they cannot

face

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the stress and improve

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

. As they used to do the easlier things that cannot learn the new things to improve their skills

such

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as problem-solving skill.

In contrast

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, students may feel more

stressful

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stressed

when they

study

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in the

large

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large,

show examples

competitive schools. The reason is

the

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that the

show examples

students persure the higher achievement

that

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Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

required by their parents. They can be more stressful to

study

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. If they are

high

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under high

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pressure

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study

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, they will give up

to do anythings

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doing anything

show examples

. They are not

good

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in good

show examples

mental health

that

Correct pronoun usage

, which

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would be

depressed

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depression

For instance

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, the Hong Kong government's survey of mental health in 2025 said that over 70%

student

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has depressed

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about studying

show examples

study

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because they always

face

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the high

pressure

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environment

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and they cannot

be relaxed

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relax

show examples

Therefore

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, the

high

Correct your spelling

high-pressure

pressure

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environment

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cannot

encourages

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encourage

show examples

children

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to achieve their goals.

Change preposition

From

show examples

perspectives

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perspective

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, the challenging

environment

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is a good way to encourage

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student

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students

show examples

. As

student

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can jump out

their

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of their

show examples

comfort zone

and

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show examples

they can be

motivited

Correct your spelling

motivated

study

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new things as innovation.

However

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, they need to

be a

Verb problem

have

show examples

good mental health because they are not

energy

Replace the word

energetic

if they feel depressed.

Therefore

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, they can be more

competivitive

Correct your spelling

competitive

in schools In conclusion, the

student

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need to learn how to

face

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the challenge and stress

but

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, but

show examples

they need to keep their good mind to

study

Use synonyms

cheungtsunchin1014

Jun 5, 2026

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task response

Answer both sides more clearly. Say why competition is good and why it is bad in separate, clear parts.

task response

Give your opinion in a direct way early and keep it the same through the essay.

task response

Explain ideas more. Some points are too general and need one more sentence of support.

task response

Use examples that sound clear and true. One example is enough if it fits the point well.

coherence and cohesion

Make each paragraph have one main idea only. This will make your essay easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple words like first, however, for example, as a result, and in conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence order. Some sentences are hard to follow because the order of ideas is not smooth.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear topic sentences at the start of body paragraphs.

task response

You discussed both views and gave your opinion.

coherence and cohesion

There is an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

You tried to support ideas with examples and reasons.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear overall topic in each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

undue stress
academic achievement
critical thinking
interpersonal skills
unhealthy rivalries
social isolation
bullying
reduced collaboration
motivation
achieve their goals
resilience
perseverance
innovation
improvement
outperform
higher standards

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